Unspoken
by nipponophile
Summary: Bringing together previously separately published stories under the banner of the 'Unspoken' series, this tells the unscreened love story between the Tenth Doctor and Donna, from Midnight through Journey's End. From Chapter 2, alternating Donna/Doctor POV
1. Unspoken

_Disclaimer: Because the BBC and not me owns the Doctor and Donna, we never got to see the following totally!canon scene._

**Unspoken**

"I can't imagine you without a voice"

He smiled, amused, and with the barest hint of smouldering, both at the truth of her words, and the meaning behind them:

_I need to hear your voice. I love your voice._

"Molto bene" he said.

"Molto bene" she replied

"No. Don't do that".

_She mentally smacked herself for, once again, speaking before thinking_.

"Don't," he repeated, the fear flickering again in his eyes, "Really. Don't."

It killed her to see him, her Doctor, usually so brave and sure, like that.

She determined to bring him back to her, _to himself. _Surely she could do at least that.

So she waited a beat and considered carefully before speaking again, deliberately keeping her tone light.

"I mean, I know I give you a hard time, 'cause you do prattle on sometimes…"

He raised an eyebrow and she suddenly averted her eyes and looked down momentarily as if she felt guilty, or embarrassed, but then she raised her head to look at him again with renewed courage.

"But your voice," she finally started softly, deliberately.

A_nd then, as seemed to happen more and more these days, it was like she was inside his mind and could understand everything and knew exactly what he needed without a word needing to be said._

Yet, even still, he never imagined she would actually come out and say what she did next:

"I _adore_ your voice".

He caught his breath, not only just at the unexpectedness of it, but sensing the incredible importance of what she was trying to say, and even more, what it was deep down inside her that was prompting her to do so.

"Your voice," she continued as she moved to grasp his hand in hers, "is what keeps me calm when everything else is going mad."

He felt the corners of his mouth turn up a little again.

"Your voice is like an anchor that holds me when I'm feeling lost, or alone, or just have no clue what's going on".

He didn't even dare to blink, feeling the tears welling.

She went on, the pride and admiration in her tone unmistakable.

"I have heard that amazing voice of yours show mercy and offer compassion. I've heard it challenge wrong and plead for reason. I've heard it stop wars and save worlds".

She reached out to wipe away an escaped tear.

"But more than anything, I love to listen to that beautiful voice as I go to sleep each night, because it makes me feel safe. Protected."

Sensing she had said her piece, he opened his mouth to speak and ironically, found himself unable to utter a word.

For her words had wrapped around him like a warm blanket and stoked a fire in his heart that both chased away the darkness and stirred something else more primal.

And it was what she hadn't said, but that had hung on every word, that spoke the loudest of all.

So he picked up her hand that was in his and kissed it long and achingly slowly as he unspoke it right back.


	2. Changing

**Changing**

After reading the same sentence for the tenth time and still not taking anything in, Donna finally realised that she was somewhat _distracted_ and put down her book_._

She couldn't stop thinking about the Doctor kissing her hand as they had sat and talked by the pool the other night.

Despite her previous adamant refusal to "mate" with him and her strict 'no hands!' policy when they first started travelling together, they had still been quite free and easy in the way they touched each other. Invading each other's personal space seemed as natural as breathing.

So why had that kiss thrown her for a loop?

Every time she thought about it she felt all warm and every-so-slightly giddy.

What was wrong with her? She wasn't supposed to feel like that about her Doctor.

_We're just MATES, for crying out loud! _

_But mates DO NOT KISS LIKE THAT._

Her eyes widened as realisation hit her.

_Would-be lovers kiss like that._

In fact, so intimate and sensuous had his gesture been that she could almost still feel the press of his warm, soft lips on her hand.

No matter how many times the denials and justifications kept going around in her head, they always came back to the same, inescapable truth: something had changed.

She felt blindsided.

_When _on earth_ had THAT happened?_

Had it been during their time on Midnight?

When he had finally returned from the harrowing trip where his voice had been stolen and he had almost died, she watched him walking towards her, his face ashen, and the relief had washed all over her.

She had never been so thankful for anything in her entire life.

At that moment, she had silently dispensed with the 'no hands' edict. She just wanted to hold him and never let go.

_Because I was scared_ _almost out of my mind for him, petrified that he might not come back to me. _

Now that she thought about it, though, her feelings towards the Doctor had actually been evolving for quite some time.

She thought back to the library, how she had been transfixed by how close and familiar River Song was being with him. At the time, she'd put on a big front, teasing him about being a "pretty boy" and maintaining an unaffected, 'don't care a jot' tone.

But in truth she had been anything but, her insides in unexpected and unsettling turmoil, and….oh my gosh, she was _jealous_. Jealous of the way the professor had touched his face in the quiet dark as she had looked on, her heart beating faster. Jealous that River had got to stay with the Doctor, while she had been sent back to the TARDIS, even if it had been to keep her safe.

And at the end of their time in the Library, when she and the Doctor had stood side by side in a mutual state of alright-but-not-really-alright-at-all, each mourning what they had lost, she had wondered why the man of her dreams had at once been so much like the Doctor (tall, gorgeous….._adores me_) and yet was hardly able to say a word.

Most of all, though, she remembered the unexpected, delicious thrill that had shot through her when they'd sought comfort in each other by joining hands, for there had been something different this time, as if easy companionship had somehow transcended into need and deeper understanding and…_is it okay if we do this more often, because, because…..well, your hands are so soft, and warm…_and …_what exactly ARE we to each other now?_

With a slightly startled jolt, Donna realised that it was not even then that the change had happened. It went further back.

_Much _further back.

Back before they had kissed in the kitchen, all walnuts and anchovies and _I'm just trying to save your life, here_, and the Doctor looking at her, hearts beating wildly and eyes flashing, declaring adamantly that he would HAVE to detox more often.

Back before their time on Messaline, when she had helped him to open up his heart to his daughter, listened as he shared his sorrow over the family he had lost so long ago, and virtually offered to become, with Jenny, his new family, to try to ease his pain by nurturing life anew.

Back before the ATMOS and the poison gas and _So sweet that he's given me my own key to the TARDIS _and_ How touching that he's a little panicked at the thought of us not travelling together a while longer_ and_ Oh my gosh, I almost lost you, don't you dare do that to me again, and I'm going to smack you just to drive that point home and then keep holding your arm because I'm afraid you'll disappear on me again…_

If she were really honest with herself, she would admit that it was even back before he had given her the incredible gift of hearing the Ood's song, before they had together shouldered the terrible burden of letting Pompeii die under clouds of ash, and before their miraculous and joyous reunion amid Ms Foster's flying fat babies.

In fact, she could have said it was the very first moment she ever laid eyes on him, but that wasn't strictly true. The moment things had changed was when she had really and truly _seen_ him for the first time, drenched and dark and itching to destroy, and she had pulled him back from the edge. It was then she had realised what he needed and what they could be to each other, what they _had_ to be to each other, even if she had been too scared to really acknowledge it back then, and so instead had run away from it, covered it up with her usual bravado and brashness.

She wondered when he had started to see through all of that. And it occurred to her that maybe he always had.

_Fat lot of good all this revelation is, though. He's still in love with _her_, the mystery blonde I've never met. _She struggled momentarily to suppress the rising bitterness.

But then she remembered him holding her hand as they sat beside the glittering water, and the quiet ecstasy of his kiss and most of all,_ the look in his eyes. _

For she knew that whatever was, or wasn't, or was yet to be, his eyes could _never_ lie to her. They always told her the truth.

And the truth was that he had changed too.


	3. Bigger on the inside

_Disclaimer: How I wish I owned the Doctor and Donna but, alas, that is the BBC's joy..._

**Bigger on the inside**

This was not working.

Well, yes, technically the TARDIS's engines weren't working right now, which was why he was flat on his back on the floor under the console trying to fix the problem.

But right at that moment, he was doing more thinking than fixing. Which led back to the _really_ important thing that wasn't working.

His relationship with Donna.

He thought back to when they had sat by the pool on Midnight, across the table from each other, holding hands, the air thick with emotion.

She had just made him cry with her words of compassion, comfort and support, and he had been unable to muster any kind of verbal response.

Instead, overcome with….well, he wasn't exactly sure what the right word for it was– he had done the only thing that had seemed fitting for such an impassioned utterance – he had picked up her hand and kissed it.

Deliberately, gently and much, much longer than he had ever kissed anyone's hand.

Because he had wanted her to know, somehow, through that kiss.

And he remembered that it had felt so, so right.

Because this 'mates' thing that they had started out as was no longer working. Well, for him at least.

It was ever-so-slightly annoying, actually, because he _had_ been perfectly happy with things the way they had been.

Friends. Best friends. BFF and all that.

_Nothing wrong with kissing your best friend._

His own mind mocked him.

_That was NOT how you kissed her._

How HAD he kissed her, then?

The answer flirted at the edges of his mind, but he wilfully ignored it.

Instead, he tried to be the voice of reason to himself.

_This is Donna. My best friend Donna. She still just wants to be _friends_, right?_

_And besides, that's all _I_ still want us to be too. _

_Definitely._

_I think._

Oh, who was he kidding? He knew it was a lie even before the thought had even formed in his mind.

But this was dangerous territory, a place he hadn't really been given permission to enter.

And he was afraid.

_I _can't_ let myself go there again. Not after Rose._

_I'm still in love with Rose. I miss Rose. I want to be with Rose. RoseRoseRose._

He repeated her name like a mantra, but somehow it didn't seem to calm him like it used to. Instead of blonde, he kept seeing ginger.

The panic rose and, forgetting where he was, he sat up. With a bang.

Minutes later, sitting dejectedly on the examination table of the medical bay attending to his bruised forehead and distractedly swinging his dangling legs back and forth, he wondered when ...when, and WHY his feelings for Donna had started to change.

After all, they had both been crystal clear right from the start that they just wanted to be "mates".

And so they had established touching boundaries (_frequently breached, actually, now that I come to think of it) _and had been vigilant in correcting the numerous misconceptions that they were a 'couple' (_though we really haven't been bothering with that so much lately…)_

She hadn't gone out of her way to ingratiate herself with him, either.

In fact, the very first time they'd met, instead of swooning, she had slapped him.

He remembered feeling shocked, and more than a little indignant.

And then - he realised now, for the first time – _utterly intrigued._

He gulped in realisation.

Where other companions had followed, adored and hung on his every word, Donna had in turns been annoying, exasperating, and even insulting.

And he had _loved_ it.

The Doctor paused to rub the bridge of his nose, sighing.

This was NOT how things were supposed to go.

Because he was waiting for Rose. Rose was waiting for him. He was going to find a way to get back to her, or else she was somehow going to find a way back to him and it would all turn out just how it was meant to turn out and everybody would be happy and that was just the _way it should be_.

After all, when Donna had talked to him the other day about Rose coming back, and _that's good, right? – _hadn't he had said yes, and smiled?

_Not before I hesitated, though._

He was shocked inwardly by his own heart's betrayal, and felt guilty and conflicted, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that pre-Donna, there would have been NO hesitation. Not even for a second.

Because before Donna, he had always known his mind, and his hearts, and how and _who_ he would choose.

But now?

It was like he could feel his certainty starting to waver and crumble even as he tried to tighten his grip, afraid that his very emotional foundation would disappear.

_What is Donna _doing_ to me?_

She was getting under his skin, despite himself.

_Probably despite herself, too, if I know Donna._

_And I _do _know Donna. More and more everyday._

He laid back slowly on the examination table, bringing one hand to rest lazily above his head, a small smile reflexively forming on his lips as he thought about his Earthgirl.

The woman who had gone from berating bride to perfect partner. For if he was going to be really honest with himself, that was indeed what she'd become.

That it was her, _Donna _– of all people - that had been able to claim this mantle that so many others had not was, he admitted, more than a little surprising.

But then, he was beginning to realise, there was much more to Donna Noble than met the eye.

Right from the start, she had 'got' him, and proved time and time again, that she was able to be what he needed. Whether it had been sharing his burden of destruction and loss, pricking his conscience, calling him on all the rubbish he spouted or being the balm to his wounds, she'd been there for him in every way.

He'd never felt so supported, accepted, understood, _whole_.

He recalled being astonished by her quick thinking, bravery and incredible practicality when she had grabbed him and kissed him in Lady Felton's kitchen, her desperation to save him surmounting even her own personal boundary issues and vulnerabilties.

As his eyes drifted shut in happy memories and a strange warmth flowed through him, he realised, somewhat embarrassedly, that he had (_more than once too_), thought about 'accidentally' poisoning himself again, just to get a repeat performance.

He suspected, though, that she'd see through him straight away, and smack him clear across the TARDIS. And that the TARDIS would actually find that amusing.

He opened his eyes again and drew in a long slow breath.

There really was no getting around it. He was being _drawn, _slowly, surely and irrevocably to her.

The thought at once terrified and electrified him.

This was new ground for him and he had no idea – _no idea at ALL_ – where they where they would end up.

But one thing he knew for sure was that it would be a journey full of excitement and discovery and limitless possibility.

Because with Donna, there was always, always _more._

_Just like you, old girl, _he thought as he looked up at his beloved ship and smiled.

_Bigger on the inside._


	4. Just sleeping

_Disclaimer: If I owned the Doctor and Donna, the series would've seen WAY more moments like this._

**Just sleeping**

It had been that very night that they had started sleeping in the same bed.

Just sleeping, nothing more.

Even so, it was a step for them. An inextricable step forward.

They had been – _at least, she thought they had been_ – so careful to mind the proper boundaries, boundaries that she had established, up until now, but after Midnight, and almost losing the Doctor….

She squeezed her eyes shut a fraction of a second, reluctant to go there even now.

They hadn't even really talked about it, it was almost like they both just _understood_ that this was where they had to go next, that it was as natural and necessary as eating and drinking and breathing and….sleeping.

It was just sleeping.

_And a little bit of cuddling. _

A wry smile crossed her face.

_Okay, a _lot_ of cuddling._

_But that's just because the Doctor's the kind of bloke that needs a cuddle every now and then._

_Maybe a little more now than he did then._

She knew he was still haunted by what had happened on the Crusader 50, he would start to toss and turn in her arms and cry out before waking up with a start.

That was when she would envelop him in her warmth and comfort, shush in his ear, and rub his back, and press soft kisses into his hair.

Invariably, it would have the desired effect and he would fall asleep again, and everything would be peaceful right through to the morning.

It didn't even cross her mind to consider this increased closeness, this _intimacy_ with her best friend as inappropriate or offending her sensibilities, or venturing into some kind of personal danger zone, because, well, this was what best friends did for each other.

Of course this was love.

Of course she loved him.

And she knew without a shadow of a doubt that he loved her.

There was no cognisance that they had, in effect, embarked on a completely new stage of their journey, because the entering had been seamless, invisible, _inevitable._

So she felt no compunction, or hesitation, or fear, in being with him, comforting him, loving him like this.

It was like their love hadn't grown (for it had been fully formed from the very beginning) so much as evolved, gaining new facets and colours.

And the most glittering of all, though it was still the smallest….she could somehow sense that it would eventually come to define their entire relationship.

She felt comfortable with it being where it was, with the ever-so-slight sense of trepidation that comes with something fresh but unknown, still too vague and far off to be a undeniable and distracting presence.

She knew that would change in time, but she felt so blissful where she was right now with her best friend that it didn't really worry her.

There had been a time, quite a while ago, when even the slightest hint of that would have terrified her and sent her running as far as possible in the opposite direction.

Now, she just embraced it as readily and confidently as she embraced him, with a peace about what was to come that she couldn't remember ever having before.

Lying here with him, she felt so safe and warm and accepted and so was free to give that back to him, creating an oasis where they could both be refreshed, nourished and fulfilled.

She felt him reflexively squeeze her hand slung low over his hip, and she squeezed back, kissing his bare shoulder softly as she did, feeling gratified to hear his contented murmur in response.

At that moment, she wished they could stay like that forever.

It was how she felt every night these days.

If she never left the TARDIS again but just lay here curled against him, breathing in his scent, feeling his skin on hers, kissing him at will, if that was to be her place for the rest of life, well, it was enough.

Was this how it felt to be best friends with him now? Or had they somehow become something else entirely to each other?

_Maybe the answer lay somewhere within their breathy sighs, gentle glances and tentative fingers._

She would wait for it.


	5. Daring to ask

_Disclaimer: What would have appeared in the TV series if I owned the characters._

**Daring to Ask**

There was nothing the Doctor liked quite as much as talking. Not only was it a great way to find out, oh, all sorts of things, it was fantastic for making new friends, not to mention show off his cleverness. And when he was bored, well, talking with the _right_ person just seemed to make time melt away.

But something he had discovered recently was that there were some things that were so important and profound and _sacred_ that they were beyond even the realm of words.

He entered this realm every night as he padded silently into Donna's room and she accepted him into her arms. Every night, feeling her fingers smooth over his eyebrows and cheeks, the caress of her breath as she calmed yet another nightmare, her kisses dropping softly in his hair.

No words were needed to enter this world. Rather, they had given each other visual assent; here, it was their eyes that were the most articulate.

It was a place of such extraordinary peace and calm that he found himself craving it, and the nights gradually became longer and longer because he wanted to spend longer and longer there with her. There was just something so _magical_ about it.

And the way they touched now…

He was fairly certain she had no idea exactly how much this new touching they had fallen so comfortably into affected him.

The other night, when she had kissed his shoulder, the feel of her lips on his skin had rendered him completely breathless, every nerve ending taut in exquisite torture.

His back to her front, she hadn't see his eyes close and roll back…_oh my lord_…but he had been powerless to suppress a moan of sheer ecstasy in response to her ministrations.

Now the lay facing each other, hands grasped loosely, her breathing even as she slumbered. So imprinted on his memory was she that even in the darkness, he could see everything so clearly - her intelligent blue eyes, fiery glorious, _glorious_ hair, perfect nose, sensuous lips.

Her lips….he stared at them, transfixed. These days, it was not just hand-holding and hugs they exchanged freely but kisses too. A kiss on the temple in appreciation or relief, on the cheek in affection or greeting, on the hand in chivalry or…..

But he knew that the kiss he desired most, that he had been longing for ever since Midnight, was very, very different. The way he wanted to kiss her now, there would be no room for blurred boundaries or interpretation or going back.

And as close as they had become, as intimate as they now were, it still required her permission. He needed to bring words back into their nocturnal nirvana of silent togetherness

Yet it seemed too harsh and violent to awaken her by speaking. So instead he stretched out and ran his toe every so slowly and lightly down the front of her foot. Almost as if he hadn't expected her to react so readily, his breath hitched as he felt the tiny hairs on her skin stand up, her skin humming awake.

Not a second later, her eyes were staring intently into his, the corners of her mouth turning up and an eyebrow raised in amusement.

"What is it, Spaceman?" she whispered, her index finger stroking the back of his hand.

He felt his ears get hotter and was grateful for the darkness hiding the wave of shyness that was washing over him.

"Donna, I, um.." he began, averting his eyes for a second, then met her gaze again "..I was wondering, um, …."

"C'mon then, out with it" she prompted him.

He drew in a short breath to calm himself, his eyes flicking for a second back to her lips, and he felt a bravery, a determination surge in him.

"Donna, I would very much like to kiss you right now" he paused momentarily as his eyes opened wider in nervous anticipation "and I was wondering if that would be okay."

"You mean, _kiss_ kiss?" she asked, angling her head in indication of his ever-so-slightly-trembling lips.

"Yes" he breathed

She said nothing, her mouth pursing in a silent _"Oh"_.

He waited.

Agonising seconds later, she finally spoke.

"If I say yes, what does that mean, exactly? What do _we_ mean?"

He could see that actually broaching what they'd been dancing around was making her anxious, as if she feared that clarity risked losing the fragile and precious thing growing between them.

He considered her question carefully. It was critical for, him, too that they _knew_ and knew why.

"It means that you are deep in my hearts and I love it that you are, and I just wanted to share with you how wonderful that feels".

He inched his face closer to hers as he spoke, until he could feel her breath tickling his mouth.

Her heart was beating rapidly now, and she nervously chewed her bottom lip, the unintended consequence of its swollen redness enticing him even more.

She gave an almost imperceptible nod.

Achingly slowly, he closed the gap between them and pressed his lips to hers.

They moved then to a place outside of time and space, where there was only the indescribable feeling of mouths moving against each other, the scent of indelible connection and wordlessly shared promises of always.

And his tears, that after 900 long years, he was finally, _finally_ home.


	6. Running back to you

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, wishing the Doctor and Donna are mine (and each others) doesn't turn me into the BBC._

**Running back to you**

Just like any woman, Donna had dreams. Normal dreams, normal desires – to be loved, to be understood, to be happy.

As the years had passed, though, bringing with them the harsh reality of rejection and scorn and betrayal and heavy, _crushing_ disappointment, she had learned to be, well, _practical_ about all that, developing a grim, glass-half-empty way of looking at her aspirations.

Things had been starting to change, though, getbetter, as the Doctor's relentless faith and belief in her – _Brilliant! Genius! Donna, that's it!...Sometimes I do need someone – _had started to restore her downtrodden confidence.

And when he had started spending every night in her arms, she felt the long-dampened flame of romantic hope flicker back to life, growing stronger with every night that he chose to spend with her.

Then _she _came back and Donna felt it all fall to pieces.

And the mask of detached, disaffected _doesn's worry me _that she had honed over so many years slid easily into place.

_Why don't you ask her yourself?_

It was almost masochistic, really, for her to say that, but what else could she have done? She knew how he felt about _her, _she knew about their history together, and she knew that that this day had to come at some point.

She just wished it had been _before_ she had finally given her heart to him.

She felt a heartbreaking inevitability as she watched him run faster than she had ever seen him run_. _She could see the utter joy in his face because it was reflected in _hers. _

True, she had wept with relief when he had survived being shot, but there was sadness there as well, because she knew it was over now, _they _were over, their little piece of paradise finished. Seeing _her_ and how she was with him, and he was with _her_…well, there was just no way she could compete, no way she could stop it.

_S_he reflexively fell into her protective cocoon of self-condemnation, her old insecurities re-emerging with a merciless vengeance, the decades of beratement and put-downs piling up again to smother the tiny plant of self-worth and confidence that had been nurtured during her time with the Doctor. _I should have known better, _she thought bitterly.

So she was more than a little astonished when, as usual, he crept softly into her bedroom that night, through an internal door between their rooms that she couldn't remember seeing before.

Why wasn't he with _her? _

She was too terrified to breath, let alone speak, in case it turned out to be just a dream. When he moved immediately with uncharacteristic boldness to kiss her, it was almost as if he had read her mind, knowing her need for some tangible sign that this was real, that he was actually here with her.

Even as her bewilderment lingered, the tears fell and he kissed every single one of them dry with murmurs of unending devotion.

Her head , swimming in disbelief, could pick up only snippets of what he was saying in whispered explanation – _I'm so sorry…..still love her but….can't lose you….TARDIS knows…you're beautiful….need you _– each utterance punctuated by an urgent kiss of reassurance.

This was not what she had been expecting at all. Hadn't expected to fall for him. Definitely hadn't expected him to fall for her in return. Hadn't expected him to stay when _she _came back. It was too overwhelming and confusing, too much to even hope for, and a sob broke out as she wondered what would happen now.

"Donna, look at me."

Through the cacophony in her mind, she heard his firm and even request, and opened her tear stained eyes.

"Donna, I'm here. With you."

"Yeah, but why?"

She could almost see his heart break.

"Oh Donna" he said sadly, but with such…_oh my gosh, LOVE_….in his voice, "Don't you know how _much_ you are? How much you are to _me?"_

All she could think about was how not enough she was. Not cute enough. Adoring enough. Thin enough. Young enough.

"I can't compete with her".

"I don't want you to".

_But I don't want to lose you._

"You don't _have _to".

He reached out to grasp her hand, and placed it on his chest.

"Don't you remember? You're inhere. I mean, really _in _here. Inside of me. Part of me."

"But she's in there too".

"Donna, a lot of people have a place in my hearts".

Her face fell and she felt the tears welling up again.

"But feel them. Who are they beating for now?"

She was too afraid to answer.

"Donna, they're beating for you. God help me, they're beating for you."

"But what about Rose?"

He took in a breath, paused a beat, closing his eyes, seemingly to compose himself as well as prepare her for what he was about to say.

"Donna, I still love Rose. And when I saw her again, I reacted on reflex. This was what I'd been waiting for, what I thought I'd been wanting for so long, so I just ran to her. And it felt good. But when I came back, didn't regenerate, I realised that time had moved on. I had moved on. I can't go back anymore. I've got to keep moving forward. You taught me that".

She closed her eyes as she felt his long, cool fingers stroke the side of her face and then slide gently down her bare arm.

"I don't want to live in the past anymore. I want to, I _need_ to, keep going, into the future. With you, if you'll let me".

This was way, _way _too much for her to take in. She was speechless.

He attempted to lighten the mood.

"Come on, even the TARDIS is pulling for us, where do you think that instant home renovation came from?" he said, his eyes gesturing to the new doorway between their rooms.

She smiled slightly, but then resumed the serious tone.

"What are you going to tell her? _How _are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know yet. Think of something I guess. Don't want to hurt her" he sighed.

She squeezed his hand.

"But I don't want you to think about that. I just want you know that there is nothingfor _you_ to worry about. Because I know how I feel about _you._"

He kissed her again then, moving his body flush against her, and she felt her mind flood with warmth and love as he silently reassured her of the promises they had whispered to each other in the night.

He had come back, run back, into her arms.

Of course, the truth was that he had never, ever left.


	7. In my hearts

**In my hearts**

He couldn't remember all the details of what happened, just snippets, pieces of his long-long awaited reunion with his bright, shining girl, his joire-de-vie angel with the dazzling smile.

And it being cruelly cut short.

Running, running, running.

Almost there.

Finally.

Flash.

Falling.

_Hi. _

_Long time no see._

_Yeah. Been busy y'know._

Once he was back inside the TARDIS, he could feel it starting. It was all but inevitable. Timing could have been better of course.

_I mean, for pity's sake, after how many years of waiting, she finally comes back and _this_ has to happen?_

He remembered that much.

Which made they way he was feeling right now all the more curious.

He looked across at a distraught Rose, tears streaming down her face.

There was a part of him that wanted to be just as upset, that knew it _should_ be just as upset.

But for some reason he wasn't.

He was …distracted.

His eyes turned to Donna, frantic, apoplectic, almost, desperately trying to get someone, _anyone, _to tell her what was going on.

_Of course she had no idea, this would be the first time she would see this._

And then he was pulled up suddenly by a startlingly incongruous and surprising thought.

_This might be the last time you, the current you, _you_ you, will ever see her._

He wondered why that particular thought occupied more time and synapse space in his brain than any other.

And why it scared the hell out of him.

He ran out of time to work through that line of thinking as he felt the regeneration energy surge through his body, bright flashes of light shooting out of every extremity.

He collapsed to the TARDIS floor.

As he came to, his companions' faces told him everything he needed to know: he was okay. He was still _him_.

Which meant he was still not ginger. _Damn._

_You..you're still you_?

_I'm still me._

Rose looked so relieved, and hugged him tight.

Still a little unsteady and emotional, he hugged her back, but there was a niggling sense that something was missing this time – the spark? The connection? Was it because some little voice inside kept whispering _I wish I was hugging someone else right now?_ as he glanced over at Donna and Jack.

Even as he kept his arms wrapped around Rose, he squeezed his eyes shut, as if it might push those thoughts – _those traitorous thoughts _– away. After all, hadn't he been waiting all this time for Rose? Hadn't she, in all her girlish impetuousness, travelled across all of time just for him?

But his smile, the joy he was supposed to be feeling, it hadn't come as effortlessly as he would have expected. Hadn't had to force it, but it hadn't been as natural as breathing or eating or …. sleeping.

Donna. Even with Rose right here, batting her eyelashes at him, lips all pink and flushed and _God, I want you, _his mind was thinking of warm, ample curves, gentle fingers smoothing his face, searing lips on a bare shoulder. He hoped Rose couldn't detect the rapid acceleration of his heartbeats. He hoped even more she wouldn't misinterpret them as being for her.

Guilt weighing too heavy to remain with them right then, he excused himself with a bright and jaunty air, ostensibly to go off to the library to do some "critical last-minute Dalek-related research".

Sensing her master's inner turmoil, the TARDIS helpfully dimmed her lights and started to emanate a relaxing, almost hypnotic hum to encourage the others to retire to their rooms, before opening up a door in the library that led directly back to his own room.

He lay on his back in the darkness, eyes wide open, wondering how it was possible to feel simultaneously guilty about his current companion and his just-returned one, and exactly when he had lost the comforting clarity that he'd been unconsciously holding on to for so long.

_I am glad Rose is back. I _am.

_Then why does it feel so hollow?_

_And why do I feel like I've kicked my best friend in the guts?_

_Because I guess that's what I just did. _

After everything that had been building between him and Donna, after she had finally, finally started to open her heart to him, to trust him, he had gone and trodden all over it with his unthinking impulsiveness. Donna probably thought he had no need for her now that Rose was back, that he was going to dump her, back in Chiswick, back in her old life, promises of _forever_ and _always_ casually cast aside, the best friend eclipsed by the clichéd epic of torn apart lovers and their never-made declarations.

_Maybe there was a reason that time ran out, that I never said it._

He sighed, rubbing his forehead. The TARDIS hummed softly, illuminating a far wall and a door he didn't recall being there before.

_What are you playing at, old girl?_

Maybe his ship, his sensitive, temperamental but incredibly insightful ship, could help him find some answers. Or at least the way forward.

He got up from the bed and walked towards the door.

In retrospect, he shouldn't have been surprised in the slightest that the TARDIS had moved his room right next to Donna's and so the door led straight into her room.

She was lying still on the bed, but her face was turned away, so he couldn't tell if she was sleeping or not. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed in the far corner an open suitcase, with neatly folded clothes piled inside and his heart fairly cleft in sorrow. She really thought he would make her leave.

Regret at his earlier careless exuberance over Rose and the irony of its emptiness having the power to render his beloved best friend suddenly anxious and afraid of the future and doubting her worth and her place with him, weighed heavier with each step he took towards her.

He had to fix this.

This was not worth losing his best friend over. Nothing and no-one was worth that. Once and for all, he needed to face his past, his present and his future, what that all meant, what he wanted it to be and who he wanted it to be with.

Armed with renewed courage, he quietly and purposefully moved to the foot of the bed and crawled up to where Donna lay.

She stirred then, and the look of utter shock and astonishment on her face that he was actually here _with her_ made his hearts sink. He had let her down badly.

He feared that any attempt to speak right now would end up being too wordy and incomprehensible and nowhere near adequate in either reassuring her or explaining himself.

So he did the only thing that he thought _would._

He kissed her. Long and hard and with every ounce of love he had in him, because he realised, now, that it belonged to her anyway.

He tasted her tears and his lips moved to take each one away. In between kisses, he tried to salve her cut and weeping heart with _I'm sorry…still love her but….can't lose you…TARDIS knows…you're beautiful….need you._

Tears of his own threatened as she plaintively, achingly asked him why he was even here at all.

He had to repair the damage he had done, help her get back to where she belonged, to a place where she _knew_ she was special and wonderful and loved.

_Most loved. _

So he spoke again, more firmly, resolutely this time.

_You are enough._

_Enough for me._

_Just by being you._

_I will never leave you._

He moved her hand over his hearts and looked into her eyes, sealing the promises.

_You're in here._

_Deep in here._

_Forever a part of me._

_My hearts beat for you._

And they leapt in joy as he saw the happiness, the confidence, the _life_ that was uniquely her flare anew, even grow stronger as he reaffirmed his desire for a future with her.

It wasn't important how or when he told Rose. What mattered was the woman in his arms, his best friend, his lover, his life, and that she _knew_ all that.

And when he'd finished telling her in words, he told her again with his body.

Over and over until she believed.


	8. Three times

_Disclaimer: Me as the BBC (the real owners of the Doctor and Donna), would have had this interlude relegating others featuring a certain blue leather jacket-clad character to 'deleted scenes' extras._

**Three times**

She didn't know how long she been asleep, could've been 20 minutes. Could have been hours.

Didn't matter really, he was still there with her, and that was the most important thing.

She could feel him, wrapped around her like a blanket, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.

His warm breath fanning through her hair and tickling her ear, his hearts beating a steady, contented rhythm against her back, his arms linked with hers, tucked under her breast, his…

Her eyes widened in mild alarm. Despite all the times they'd slept together like this - like no-space-between-us – she couldn't recall…._this_….ever happening before.

_I mean, I would have _remembered _something like that, surely. You don't forget when someone _reacts_ to you like that. Would I? Maybe it _has _happened before but I just blocked it out, like people block out unpleasant events or people or a particularly embarrassing night out at the pub...no, wait, there's no _WAY_ I would have forgotten something like this…_

Her mind now a swirl of embarrassed confusion, questions with no answers, denials and counter denials, Donna tried to work out the best course of action, but found herself too flustered to even speak, let alone move.

She could feel her face getting hotter. She could feel other parts of her getting hotter.

_STOP IT!_

_We are NOT having these thoughts._

What the heck was happening?

How had reunion with Rose suddenly turned into _I think I fancy my best friend_?

Thank God he was still asleep, maybe if she could somehow move his hands off….

"Where're you going?"

His arms tightened around her, and with a little sigh he snuggled his head into the crook of her neck, taking the opportunity to kiss her softly there.

"Um, Doctor, I think we'd better…."

"Think later. Cuddle now." he said sleepily but firmly.

"Yeah, look, I don't have a problem with the cuddling per se, but…ah…perhaps we shouldn't be cuddling quite so…._enthusiastically_."

"Whadda you mean, so enthusi….?"

His voice trailed off as the penny dropped, and he started to scoot his lower body away from her a little.

"I'm so sorry. Must have happened after I feel asleep." He looked as embarrassed as she felt.

She rolled over to face him, but averted her eyes.

"Can't imagine why, I mean it's only me…"

He looked askance at her, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing and assumed a serious, almost chastising tone.

"What do you _mean_ 'it's only me'? Exactly, it's only you! Therefore, entirely within the realms of possibility, in fact highly probable, that I would react to you just like this. I mean, particularly seeing you how I see you, it's not to be unexpected in the slightest"

_He must be bloody nervous, what with that epic babble._

More than a little rattled herself and not quite knowing how to respond, Donna continued to employ her usual self-deprecation.

"Don't be daft! I think that Dalek must have fried your head a bit."

"Did nothing of the sort," he sniffed. "Your problem is that you just can't see how magnificent you are." His eyes darkened to a distinct smoulder and his voice dropped an octave. "Not to mention incredibly sexy."

Desperate to deflect the conversation away from what was looking like _extremely_ dangerous territory, she steered the subject to something, anything not directly referencing body parts and their reactions.

"So tell me this then, Martian genius, how did I go from also-ran to the essence of magnificence in less than 24 hours?"

She raised her eyebrow in challenge, bravado and more than a little bit of fear.

_On second thoughts, I don't really want to know the answer to that question._

_Oh well. Too late now._

The Doctor, ignoring her slight snippiness, gently grasped her forearms, and slid one leg across to tangle with hers.

"First of all, you're hardly an also-ran. And secondly, I think you reached 'magnificent' some time ago, I was just too caught up trying to recapture the past to notice what you'd become to me."

"Which is?"

"Everything." he replied matter-of-factly.

Donna swallowed, hard, at the raw simplicity of his words.

Then, the barest of whispers: "What do you mean, everything?"

She asked it for the sake of saying something even remotely coherent, so rapidly was she being overcome by powerful emotions unknown to her in thirty-plus years of existence.

The waves of…_God, she was afraid to even _name_ it….._overflowed and surged into her mind and her heart and … her body. She squirmed a little at the not at all uncomfortable feeling.

He seemed a little bewildered that she found clarification necessary, but responded carefully and with aching tenderness.

"Everything? My companion, my best friend, my comforter, the person who pulls me back and pushes me forward, who trusts me and believes in me and tells me what for."

He smiled knowingly.

"The person who wants to be with me. In _every_ sense of the word. "

He gave a small but unmistakeable smirk, his meaning _crystal_ clear.

Donna gasped audibly.

First shock.

In fact, she was too stunned to even do what she would have normally, a round slap to wipe that uncharacteristically lascivious expression off his face.

Instead she stared at him, mouth agape, in a way that she was sure must've made her look like the village idiot.

Or perhaps not.

Without warning, he kissed her hard, ravenously, and without mercy until she was literally breathless.

When their lips finally parted, his expression had changed again and was now all quiet confidence, the look of a man who was exactly where he wanted to be and basking in the blissfulness of it all.

His limpid chocolate eyes caught her gaze, gently but firmly filling her whole being with reassurance.

"Don't you see?"he said.

"I love you."

Second shock.

Somehow, she had known for such a long time, but to hear him just say it like that, out loud, it gave what was between them form and presence and power. It made it more real than she realised she had ever been prepared to acknowledge, for it meant taking down the protective walls she had built up, exposing her very soul. It meant letting him in _everywhere_, not just the bright places, but the places where hurt and sadness and _not enough_ were, and trusting him to stay with her there.

_Can he read all that in my eyes?_

"Doctor, I'm scared" she choked out in a whisper.

He smoothed her face and then her hair, pouring in calming white energy, soothing her fear and doubt.

"You don't have to be afraid, Donna".

He paused and looked at her, and for a moment, she thought she saw a touch of sadness in his expression, but quickly dismissed it as a probable trick of the light.

"And you don't even have to tell me how you feel about things right now, I can wait, I'll wait for you. A hundred years, if I have to".

She remembered back to a time when she had sat out under the stars with her Gramps and said those very same words about the Doctor. Unbidden tears welled up and ran down the side of her nose. She felt him thumb them away.

Donna realised then that she had to tell him, no matter what. And hadn't he just given her a safe space to do it?

She took a deep breath.

"I love you, Spaceman. God save me, but I love you".

_There. It was done. Least I can say I held nothing back._

He smiled the smile of someone who had just been given everything he could ever possibly desire or even dream of, and his eyes reflected the glistening in her own. He kissed her then, gossamer-light.

Then he spoke again.

"And just in case I haven't made my feelings completely clear tonight, I need to tell you this: I _want_ you. For always, and in every way. Whenever you are ready. I know now that I'm ready, and when you are too, we can take that next step together."

He squeezed her hands in his and then brought them up to his chest.

"I don't want to rush you, or scare you, but I do need to be honest with you. That next step for me is commitment. To you. Forever." He smiled softly at her.

Oh God, I think I know what that means.

Third shock.

Donna was at once elated and frightened out of her wits.

She loved her Spaceman and she knew she wanted to be with him until the end of time.

But she had also been down this road before and it had ended…well, "disastrously" probably wasn't strong enough a word. Perhaps "end-of-the world-as-we-know-it carnivorous spider infested cataclysmically bad" was probably a more apt description.

"Can I think about it and get back to you?" She gave him a gently flirtacious smile.

"Weeelll, alright, but you think about what you're missing out on." His suggestive eyebrow waggle left no room for the imagination.

She swatted his arm.

"Shut up and come 'ere, you", she said, letting her lips sate him for at least a few more hours.


	9. More than enough

_Disclaimer: Because the BBC owns them, we were denied SO MUCH Doctor-Donna kissage..._

**More than enough**

These days, the Doctor was no longer afraid to fall asleep, the nightmares that had so often plagued him, particularly after the trauma of Midnight, now virtually disappeared.

The reason lay content in his arms, all softness and strawberries and periodic little sighs.

In a blissful, half dream-like state, he thought that maybe this was what heaven was like.

Donna, wrapped in his embrace, every part of her body touching every part of his, their linked arms resting comfortably under her breasts.

Just the thought of part of him being nestled in that exquisite curve made his pulse quicken, his blood pump a little faster.

_Her smell, her feel… what she does to me even when she's sleeping….. _

She stirred, as if to move away.

_No, don't leave me, too soon._

"Where're you going?"

He pulled her closer, and with a contented sigh snuggled into her neck, taking the chance – _every chance I can get_ - to press the softest of kisses there.

"Um, Doctor, I think we'd better…." she started.

"Think later. Cuddle now."

_I'm nowhere near ready to be away from you. We've already lost so much time._

"Yeah, look, I don't have a problem with the cuddling per se, but…ah…perhaps we shouldn't be cuddling quite so…._enthusiastically_."

"Whadda you mean, so enthusi….?"

He felt his face grow hot with embarrassment as realisation dawned and he hurriedly moved his lower body away from hers.

"I'm so sorry. Must have happened after I feel asleep."

_I was dreaming about you. And it was a _good _dream._

"Can't imagine why, I mean it's only me…"

_What on earth is she talking about? Does she have _any_ idea?_

"What do you _mean_ 'it's only me'? Exactly, it's only you! Therefore, entirely within the realms of possibility, in fact highly probable, that I would react to you just like this. I mean, particularly seeing you how I see you, it's not to be unexpected in the slightest".

_Not one of my more eloquent responses._

"Don't be daft! I think that Dalek must have fried your head a bit."

_She _still_ can't see? How do I make her see? _

"Did nothing of the problem is that you just can't see how magnificent you are."

He dropped his voice lower, seducing her.

"Not to mention incredibly sexy."

It worked. She was noticeably flustered.

"So tell me this then, Martin genius, how did I go from also-ran to the essence of magnificence in less than 24 hours?"

He saw right through the bravado to the insecurity and fear, and it just about killed him that his beautiful, fiery, compassionate best friend was still selling herself short, still so uncertain of her place with him.

_That's partly my fault, _he thought, grimacing inwardly.

_But I'm going to fix it. And once I have, even in the midst of the darkest storm, she is going to feel absolutely safe and sure and protected, knowing that I will _always_ be beside her. _

He reached out to hold her hand and snake one leg in between hers, increasing their physical connection, even as he sought to bolster their emotional one.

"First of all, you're hardly an also-ran. And secondly, I think you reached 'magnificent' some time ago, I was just too caught up trying to recapture the past to notice what you'd become to me."

"Which is?"

His simple, honest answer flowed effortlessly.

"Everything."

It was not the answer she had been expecting, clearly; her reaction said she couldn't quite fathom his truth. He could see trepidation, tinged with hope, in her eyes as she searched for something, anything that would allow her to believe him.

"What do you mean, everything?"

His heart sank a little that his words were somehow not enough, that she needed further reassurance of what she meant to him, and his mind screamed what he wished he could tell her out loud.

_I'm here with you! Rose is only metres away, down the hall somewhere, but I choose_ _to be with you, I've chosen _you_! Doesn't that tell you something?_

But he knew that Donna's words came from a place of vulnerability, something she had brought with her to the TARDIS that was there long before they had ever met, and he accepted it because it was part of what made her who she was and who she was to him. He wanted to beat himself up for all that he had done to feed that vulnerability, but knew that it wouldn't help; neither would frustration over how long it was taking for her to believe she was enough, more than enough for him.

The stakes were far too high for him to not give her the validation she so desperately sought. He sensed how overcome she was feeling, the swirling emotions and raw apprehension at how she was responding to him physically radiating off her in waves.

_Donna, my darling, listen to my words and believe. Believe that my future starts and ends with you. That you are worthy and enough and precious beyond measure. _

"Everything? My companion, my best friend, my comforter, the person who pulls me back and pushes me forward, who trusts me and believes in me and tells me what for."

"The person who wants to _be_ with me. In _every_ sense of the word. "

His small smirk was an attempt to lighten the mood, as well as convey the full extent of what he felt for her.

She gasped and stared, open-mouthed, at him.

Unable to resist, he kissed her then, passionately and urgently, as if her kisses were his very life force.

As they pulled apart, her breathless, flushed and heart pounding, he felt the hugest calm and peace wash all over him, knowing in that moment that there was nothing else he needed but to be with her, always.

_Is that what you want too?_

For he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he loved her, that she was a part of his hearts as much as he was, she _was _his hearts.

So he told her.

"Don't you see?"

"I love you".

At that moment, he looked deep into her eyes and saw something break in her, as if those words had unlocked some part of her heart that thus far had been hidden and off limits to him. In voicing what he felt, had _known_, since…._probably since the day I first met her, he thought ruefully_…..he had somehow created a space where she felt safe enough to let him in. To see her, _really_ see her. And he felt insanely honored and privileged and awed and almost _giddy_ with happiness_._

But when she looked at him, he saw the nervousness she was unable to hide.

"Doctor, I'm scared."

Immediately he moved to reassure her with his touch, smoothing her face and hair, and then his mind, flooding her with calm, peace, acceptance and love.

"You don't have to be afraid, Donna", he said, unable to stop a hint of sadness colouring his eyes.

_My strong, beautiful, fragile Earthgirl. Why did I hold back for so long?_

"And you don't even have to tell me how you feel about things right now, I can wait, I'll wait for you. A hundred years, if I have to".

_I really will. Because __we belong together, the universe destined it._

He saw the tears well up, and used his thumb to wipe them away as they ran down her face, even as she drew in a breath, obviously on the verge of saying something important.

"I love you, Spaceman. God save me, but I love you".

The joy in his heart at her admission was so great that there was no way that he, wordsmith of a million galaxies, could have come out with anything remotely adequate to truly convey it. He knew then that there could be no greater contentment or fulfillment than this. His lips brushed hers with the lightest of touches in a silent prayer of thanks.

"And just in case I haven't made my feelings completely clear tonight, I need to tell you this: I _want_ you. For always, and in every way. Whenever you are ready. I know now that I'm ready, and when you are too, we can take that next step together."

He brought her hand, clasped in his, up to his chest, to rest over his hearts, hoping they could convey the depth of his love and devotion, and all that they were and he longed for them to be to each other.

_Partners. Best friends. Lovers._

"I don't want to rush you, or scare you, but I do need to be honest with you. That next step for me is commitment. To you. Forever."

He wondered if she understood what that meant, how _much_ it meant for a Gallifrean man to say that to a woman. Knowing her and what he did about the customs of Earth, he was sure it was something of gravity and permanence for her too, what she had been looking for back when they had met for the first time, but had been so cruelly snatched from her grasp. Would she now be too frightened to go on the journey with him?

Her answer was perhaps not what he had been anticipating, but it was enough, for now.

"Can I think about it and get back to you?" She gave him a delicious, flirty smile.

"Weeelll, alright, but you think about what you're missing out on."

He couldn't resist adding a suggestive eyebrow waggle, earning himself a light slap on the arm.

"Shut up and come 'ere, you", she said, pulling him in for what turned out to be a very long and satisfying kissing session.

_Definitely_ enough for now.


	10. Touch the fire

_Disclaimer: Why the BBC, the owners of the Doctor and Donna, didn't hold RTD and JG down and force them to film scenes like this, I'll never understand._

**Touch the fire**

Donna knew that they were being dragged into the heart of the revived Dalek empire, that an apocalypse was bearing down on them, and that things were really, really bad.

Yet she found herself struggling to give their impending doom the full weight of her attention because, well, she was entirely (and just a little guiltily) _distracted _by her rather heightened state of arousal, which was causing her to look across at the Doctor every other second and flash him her most subtle come hither look in an attempt to lure him into her arms and snog the living daylights out of him.

He was an all-too-willing participant, and the TARDIS, picking up on what she was sure must be an obscene amount of pheromones, was doing her utmost to help, creating darkened little nooks and alcoves where, hidden from prying eyes they were able to ravage each other for a few minutes before catching their breath, composing themselves and going back to eye-flirting across the console room. Or, if there was no convenient corner and they just couldn't wait, the TARDIS – _bless_– somehow picked up on that, too, and would engineer a fortuitous wobble, throwing them into each others' arms where they could cop a good old feel without arousing suspicion.

And every time they came together like this, there were the words, those beautiful, precious promises that they whispered to each other: _I love you I love you I love you_. Donna knew she would never ever tire of hearing those words drop from her Doctor's lips, as sweet and pure and sustaining as honey.

When the TARDIS finally stopped, and the Doctor told her – once again – that she was brilliant, she couldn't help but give him her biggest warmest smile. Yet, even in the midst of basking in such heady emotion, she suddenly started to hear _it _again, that heartbeat that had made itself known way back on the Shadow Proclamation. It chose this moment to remind her of its presence, more insistently now, as if trying to tell her that something huge and critical was imminent.

Beating loudly in her ears, it distracted even from the Doctor's calling to her, and she registered only faintly the fact that they others were already on their way out the door. Instead, she stood transfixed by the jar with the Doctor's hand; somehow the heartbeats seemed to be coming from there

The Doctor's voice finally snapped her out of her trance and she moved to join him.

Only to have the door slam shut, sealing her inside.

Away from him.

_No._

"Doctor! What have you done?"

_Surely he's not leaving me here by myself! _

"It wasn't me! I didn't do anything!" She could hear the fear in his voice.

"Oi! Oi, I'm not staying behind!"

_Don't you dare abandon me! You're supposed to be by my side, remember? Together no matter what. Why isn't the door opening?_

"Doctor!" The fear was palpable now, growing stronger every second they remained apart

She could hear him talking heatedly with the Daleks, demanding her release. But the door still stayed firmly shut.

And then, suddenly, she felt the TARDIS fall, and she grabbed onto the railing to stop herself from smashing against the wall.

_This can't be happening. _

She squeezed her eyes shut, thinking it must be some bad dream, but she could still feel the TARDIS tumbling, careening, taking her further and further away from the Doctor.

When she finally felt their descent stop, she let go of the railing, and fell to the floor, trying to avoid the smoke that now filled the console room. Alone and terrified, with fire burning hot and stifling all around her, she was taken aback to realise it was not death she feared most, but never seeing him again.

The heartbeats in her ear were unbearably loud now and, distraught at not being able to hold the one she loved one last time, she reached out to the only part of him she could. It seemed to be calling out to her as if it _knew _her.

When she touched the jar, the sudden surge of energy knocked her backward and made her gasp, and for a moment it seemed as if the whole light of the universe was inside her head, illuminating, revealing, metamorphosing into something new and huge and unimaginable.

The hand, lying on the floor amidst broken glass, glowed and pulsed and grew into…

_Oh. My. God._

It was _him._

The Doctor.

_My Doctor.__  
><em>  
>"It's you"<p>

"Oh yes!"

_He's starkers._

She averted her eyes out of habit and decorum, though the newly-awakened part of her _longed _to just gaze at him, to drink in and appreciate his form.

"You're naked!"

"Oh yes".

* * *

><p>Donna had never been thrown for quite as big a loop as this one. She had just watched the Doctor – or at least someone who looked, moved, and even <em>babbled<em> like him – grow…or was it regenerate? ….out of his lopped-off hand like some kind of weirdo-psycho alien worm, confront her unashamedly with his not-at-all-unattractive nakedness and without so much as a light pink blush, clothe himself in one of the Doctor's – _or one of his own_ – blue pinstriped suits and then keep on being Doctor-y as if nothing untoward or out of the ordinary or _completely barmy _had happened at all.

When she told him she thought he was stark raving bonkers, and that this must be some clever Time-Lord trick to copy yourself whenever it seemed convenient, he confused her by telling her that, no, he was utterly unique, and, even more incredulously, that he had grown out of _her_.

So what did that make him, then? Was he still the Doctor? Not the Doctor? A Doctor clone? Some kind of half-Doctor? Or the Doctor's slightly more manic twin?

Perhaps it was (f) none of the above.

Because when he spoke next, the voice was a lot closer to home.

Bit like hers, actually.

And he didn't mind telling here he wasn't too thrilled about it.

"Oi! Watch it, Spaceman!"

"Oi! Watch it, Earthgirl!"

_Blimey_.

They were like two sides of the same coin, intergalactic yin and yang. It was doing her head in.

Even as he looked upon her with exactly the same face as her beloved, she could still – _just_– believe it when he told her he only had one heart, and that he was some sort of timey-wimey Time Lord-human meta-crisis, whatever the hell that meant.

But when he told her that all of it, all of this had converged on her because she was _special_, well, it was then that he went too far.

She could almost hear the sound of the bounds of credibility snapping.

"I keep telling you, I'm not!"

_Why do I have to keep telling _everybody_ that these days?_

He jumped on her denial almost quicker than she could spit it out.

And, despite all the weirdness and _I don't understand_, when he spoke again, one thing became evidently clear - that inside this man whose gentle brown eyes regarded her with such familiar tenderness, were the same memories, knowledge, experiences, and emotions that made the Doctor who he was.

For this Doctor's words reached right into the very depths of her hurt and her pain as only those of someone who knew her, _really _knew her, could.

There was no hiding behind bluster or bravado - or even a bit of biff - this time. At this moment, it was like she stood before him completely transparent – _she was the naked one this time_- as he told her he knew what she was thinking, that the Donna everyone saw was just a way to get people to listen, because, deep down, she didn't think she was worth it.

It devastated her like nothing else could have.

_Because he's right._

She begged him to stop. Twice.

To no avail.

He just kept going on his own little tangent, before pausing, fixing has gaze on her and giving her one of his trademark, high-beam smiles.

"But look at what you did!"

She did look at him then….and was astonished to see pride shining in his eyes. After knowing everything, all her hows and whats and whys, who she really was deep, deep down… _here_ was where he had ended up. Accepting her. Loving her. _Praising _her.

She started to feel overwhelmed again.

But the Doctor, in his inimitable fashion, barrelled on, telling her that they had _always_ been heading for this, that the very forces of creation had been drawing them together for the longest time.

Donna had never believed in destiny, seeing life as something altogether more random and tenuous.

_But I want to._

Because the sheer exuberance of this new Doctor's conviction resonated in her soul with an unworldly surety and truth, so much that she found herself yearning to join him in this place of unshakeable belief, for it to become her foundation of hope as much as it so obviously was his.

So she took a deep breath and decided to believe.

In herself, in them and in a brighter future.

* * *

><p>Donna was enjoying watching the new Doctor as he went about constructing some kind of neutron-bio-upside-down-catalysing thingy with relentless enthusiasm and fearsome focus.<p>

She didn't pretend she understood even a little of how it worked. The most important thing was that she wasn't alone and he wasn't alone, they were in this together and somehow that seemed to make her feel safer, powerful, as if even if it were just the two of them against the whole Dalek Empire, they would still have a chance.

And she knew that he felt the same way.

* * *

><p>When she burst out of the TARDIS, prepared to pick up and continue the fight after the new Doctor had been felled, she didn't see <em>him <em>at first, didn't notice that his eyes had fixed on her immediately as if they alone could somehow protect her. But she did feel her freshly-discovered confidence falter as she held the new Doctor's device, wanting desperately to help, yet with no clue how. And she heard the Doctor scream out her name as the energy bolt hit her and she, too, fell.

No-one was looking her way when she came to and emerged from behind the screen where the force of the bolt had pushed her. Instead, they all seemed paralysed with despair, eyes transfixed by the countdown screen that, any second now, would signal the end of reality itself.

She smiled as she moved towards the Dalek control bank.

_Not on my watch, matey._

And with a brazen sureness that frankly surprised her she was off, flicking switches, and pressing buttons, laying waste to all of Davros' meticulously-constructed plans with a cheeky smile and a flick of her red hair, the wise-cracks flowing as quickly and easily as her technological explanations of exactly what it was she was doing to a delightfully gob-smacked Doctor and his equally entranced double.

She had to admit that she was loving the way the Doctor couldn't tear his eyes away from her, completely enamored with her newly-found capability to make everything move at her command. He looked at her as if she was the most unimaginably amazing, incredible, captivating thing he had ever laid eyes on and that he was the luckiest man in the universe because he was _hers_.

She couldn't quite believe it herself. How far she had come. How far they had both come. Together. And now, here she was, the Doctor-Donna, just as the Ood had foretold way all the back when her and the Doctor were still new to each other and _Oh, no, no, no, no, we're not married, we're so not married, never, never ever. _

She could feel the energy and awareness surging through her, opening up parts of her mind long dormant, releasing the waiting potential she never knew she had. The realities. The possibilities. What they could do, right now, tomorrow, throughout eternity.

The new Doctor's excitement crackled and sparked, and together with the Doctor's more restrained but quietly fervent joy at this turn of events, the three of them moved and worked with unity of purpose, power and expectation.

They sent all but one of the 27 stolen planets back home, Donna, the new Doctor by her side, rejoicing that they had saved the day and were still all together, no-one lost. Dalek Caan's prophecy of death seemed as misguided and superseded as Davros' shattered ambition, and though she couldn't completely forget, she quickly dismissed it to somewhere remote, where it couldn't intrude.

She had better things to focus her mind on anyway.

Like, before this day was through, she would have the Doctor all to herself. Just the two of them, truly and wholly each other's, for the first time. For the rest of time.

She could hardly wait.


	11. Part of me

_Disclaimer: Oh BBC, owners of the Doctor and Donna, if only you'd given RTD more hours to play with our favourite Doctor Who couple..._

**Part of me**

Yes, they were his arch-enemies and he hated them as much as it was possible to hate something, but right now the Doctor was actually _grateful_ that the Daleks had teleported the TARDIS to the crucible.

Admittedly, it was for rather personal reasons, but he knew, given what had transpired in the short time since her return, that he would have to tell Rose, eventually, that things between them weren't going to turn like she was hoping. He was really dreading that conversation and putting it off as long as he could. The teleporting thing, along with the whole potentially-the-end-of all-known-universes-and–reality-itself crisis that they were stuck in the middle of, was kind of helping with that, thus the weird semblance of gratitude.

After a profound and blissful night with Donna, he had been going out of his way to avoid being alone with Rose for even a second, and had ramped his usual touchy-feeliness with her right down, anxious to give Donna no further cause to doubt where his love lay.

If Rose noticed the drop-off in his enthusiasm towards her, she didn't say anything. Hopefully she thought he was just too caught up in worry about yet another showdown with the Daleks, and so thought it was better not to be too demonstrative in front of everyone else.

It meant, though, that he had to curb his public affection for Donna as well, which was a _lot_ more difficult. Feeling liberated by their mutual admission of love, it was all he could do not to want to be touching her in some way every second, and as it was, he was sure someone must have noticed how often he kept glancing over at her and smiling, his eyes shining and the colour rising in his cheeks. To her credit, Donna was very sensitive to the situation and, in company at least, she continued to treat him as a best friend would be expected.

But even Donna was not above engineering a few stolen moments with him – _for which he was so, SO thankful_ – where, aided and abetted by the TARDIS's creation of appearing/disappearing doors, darkened alcoves and appropriately-timed episodes of 'turbulence', in which he always 'happened' to be standing right next to her, they could indulge in frantic, fevered kissing, hands! – _thank God she was now completely on board with the hands!_ –and urgent whispered reassurances of _I love you I love you I love you._

So it seemed a little odd that when the time came for them to have to leave the TARDIS and finally face the Daleks that Donna seemed to be off in her own little world, lagging behind. Yet it wasn't anything he thought he had to be concerned about.

Until the door of the TARDIS slammed shut, sealing her inside.

Separating them.

Dread gripped his hearts like a vice.

He heard her calling out to him, the rising fear in her voice paralleling his own.

The Daleks thought it was his doing.

_Emotionless idiots, don't they know I would never, EVER do anything to cause me to be apart from her?_

Donna called out his name again, much more frightened now, and he fought to stop his own voice breaking.

"Stop it! She's my friend –_so much more than my friend_ - now open the door and let her out!"

_Bring her back to me!_

But when the Supreme Dalek spoke again, it was like an icy shard through his very soul.

And he felt his entire universe crumble as the TARDIS – and Donna - fell through a trapdoor and hurtled, defenceless, into the Crucible's Core.

The pain was unfathomable, like his chest was being cut open and his still-beating hearts ripped from his body and dragged down into the core with her.

His mind cried out to his would-be lover as he sensed her, terrified and alone.

Guilt at his uselessness grew blacker, hotter, heavier, until he felt like he was suffocating.

In a blind panic, and stricken with grief, he offered the Daleks the most valuable thing he had – his own life – if only it could spare hers.

"Please, I'm begging you. I'll do anything! Put me in her place, you can do anything to me, I don't care, just get her out of there!"

_Save her._

_Please._

Rose took his hand, trying to comfort him.

He barely felt it.

_We'd only just found each other! We were going to have forever!_

As he stared at the monitor and the Daleks counted down the destruction of the TARDIS, it hardly occurred to him mourn his beloved ship, so in agony was he over the loss of _her._

Some distant part of his mind registered the Daleks' pronouncing the TARDIS's demise.

And then there was just numbness.

He wondered, vaguely, if he would ever feel anything good, anything at _all_ ever again.

* * *

><p>He didn't have to wait long.<p>

Stuck in the Vault with Davros and the insanely babbling Dalek Caan, claiming that he had foreseen all of it, the Children of Time, gathered together for the final battle, at the end of everything, and that one of them would die, it was then that he felt the _anger._

"Was it you, Caan? Did you kill Donna?" he spat, feeling like a knife was twisting in his gut as the name of his lost love fell from lips still tender from her kisses.

_And then he felt sick._

Yet Davros was still not finished. Now he was talking about going on some kind of journey to reveal his soul, whatever that meant, as a precursor to the testing of the Reality Bomb. The obliteration of everything. More than ever, the Doctor wished he had Donna by his side, even just holding her hand, he knew, would help him focus and think and _hope_.

But things seemed so hope_less_. Donna was gone. The TARDIS destroyed. His friends scattered, fallen. It was just him, and Rose, trapped in their holding cells as Davros methodically and mercilessly went about his mission of humiliation and destruction.

So ruthless was he that soon even the Doctor began to wonder, of all he had seen in so many worlds, whether it really WAS he, himself, who was the most horrific, the most abominable, the REAL destroyer of worlds. Donna had told him way back that he needed someone to stop him, and as Davros' accusations rained down, the memory of everyone who had died for the cause, whose lives had been cut short because they had run with the Doctor and believed in him rushed to the front of his mind and burned there. He saw their faces even when he closed his eyes, felt the full weight of the dreadful darkness that lived inside of him.

Rose's presence didn't make him feel any better, nor did that any of his other companions, who had now been brought in by the Daleks to witness the shame of his true self being laid bare. All that registered was the yawning, aching emptiness of Donna not being there.

He knew that only _her_ presence, _her _words would have truly helped share his pain, carry the terrible burden of being who he was. She would have lovingly stroked his face, then his hair, and reminded him, firmly but with such patient gentleness, of the all the good he had done, the worlds he had saved, the brightness that shone in him and through him. She would have put her hand over his hearts and pleaded with him to not give up, because…because that was something he just never did.

But her voice had been silenced, forever. All that was left was Davros's sneering pompousness, Dalek Caans's giggling and the screams of those he had lost ringing in his ears. So loudly, he didn't at first hear that familiar whirring at the far end of the room…

* * *

><p>The Doctor couldn't recall ever having been quite as stunned as he was right at that very moment.<p>

The TARDIS, supposedly dead and gone, was materialising right in front of him! And if the TARDIS was okay, then….

_Oh, God, _she_ must be okay too! Donna must be alive! _

His hearts soared.

Disappointment that it was not she that emerged first from the TARDIS was ameliorated somewhat by the utter astonishment of coming face to face with an exact duplicate of himself.

But his elation at seeing her a few seconds later was cruelly snatched away as she was brought down. He watched her crumple and fall even as his hearts did the same.

_I just got you back! How can you leave me when I just got you back?_

But with the end of reality itself only seconds away, perhaps it was better that Donna would be spared the pain of seeing it happen.

* * *

><p>The Doctor had learnt many valuable lessons in his time, but the one he had learnt today was the most important of all:<p>

_Never underestimate his Earthgirl. _

For in the few seconds between her apparent – second - demise and the end of everything, she had re-emerged as the Doctor-Donna foretold by the Ood and saved them _all. _Saved _everything. _Twenty-seven planets and universes known and unknown. She had stopped the Reality Bomb and Davros and the Daleks and rescued the whole of existence with her brilliance and magnificence.

The Doctor thought he would literally explode with pride, just basking in her reflected glory.

Oh, she was still the same Donna, all right, everything he loved about her - attitude, wit, humor, fire, spirit - shone as brightly as ever.

But now it was backed by the extraordinary confidence that came with knowing she was part Time-Lord, with a mind as big as her heart. Knowing, _believing _- at last - that she was good enough. _Special_.

She was a force of nature, a force _beyond _nature. She fairly glowed with it all, and it rendered the Doctor almost breathless with admiration and love.

Right then, he was perfectly content to do whatever she told him, watching her as she took charge, capable and commanding and _beautiful. _

She didn't know what she was doing to him with all her techno-babble, gadget prowess and gung-ho-ness, but she would find out soon enough when he got her alone after all this was over.

He could hardly wait.


	12. Chosen

**Chosen**

Donna didn't understand why she was quite so nervous right now.

After all, she was now part Time-Lord, part human, mind as big as a planet, the ability to do anything the Doctor could and then some, and said Doctor was obviously smitten with her, if the way he hovered around her humming some little tune, brushing past her constantly and grinning at her like some idiotic lovesick puppy all the time was any indication.

And yet, there was still that little sense of uneasiness sitting uncomfortably in the pit of her stomach, worrying her more than it should.

Maybe it was because while she had his mind – his past, his vast knowledge, his experiences – she wasn't privy to his intentions - decisions he would take, plans he'd make. The truth was, once they arrived back in the parallel universe, she didn't know what was going to happen.

Sure, the Doctor had told her he loved her and was proud of her and wanted to commit to her forever. But maybe that had just been the pre-battle adrenaline talking, the excitement of heading into the fray, comrades in arms, the intensity of what they had been through somehow heightening feelings that had never really been there.

Now that it was all over and things had settled down, what if all those feelings and emotions started to wear off? What would he see if he took another look in the sober light of day? How far really did their fledgling relationship, if she could call that, really go beyond best friends?

Could it really compete with the years he had spent with the perky blonde baby Barbarella shamelessly flirting with him at the TARDIS console even as Donna stood only metres away? It was clear that Rose still saw herself ending up with him, the Doctor obviously hadn't said anything to her about what had happened between him and another woman (her!) in said woman's (hers!) bedroom the night before their showdown with the Daleks.

Why hadn't he? Donna's rational self told her it was simply that there had been no time, there hadn't been a right moment. Her insecurity _– why was it still here? - _said it was because the Doctor had realized he'd made a mistake, that in the heat of the moment he had reached out to her, but now realized that he really did still love the younger, blonder girl.

_Funny how even now I can be thrown so easily by youth and beauty._

She paused, regrouped.

_No. _

I _am__ beautiful. _

_I know that. _

_God knows how many times the Doctor has told me just that the last few days. _

_And that he loves me._

_I trust him._

_I _trust_ him. _

_We're gonna be okay._

She placed her hands on a railing near the wall, looked down and took a deep breath in, then out.

_Everything will be alright._

As if reading her mind – _actually, he kind of can now - _he looked over at her at that moment, while Rose was temporarily distracted by some particularly left-field comment the new Doctor had made, fixed his eyes on her and smiled ever so slightly, as if to say _"Don't worry, I'm still yours". _

Then he looked away again as Rose touched his arm and trailed her fingers slowly down towards his hand. Donna felt her hackles rising, but then she saw him move his arm away suddenly, on the pretense of adjusting some lever on the TARDIS's console and she smiled, castigating herself for getting riled up so easily.

Before she had time to tie herself up in any more emotional knots, the TARDIS had come to a stop, and Jackie, Rose and the new Doctor headed down the ramp and out the door.

Quick as a flash the Doctor was by her side, his hand in hers, his breath hot in her ear.

"Just a few minutes more and you are _all mine_" he purred, before gently biting her ear lobe and swirling his tongue lightly underneath.

Donna fairly swooned, feeling her knees started to buckle. Luckily, the Doctor was able to catch her, her rear resting in his firm and rather eager grasp. He gave it a squeeze, and her a wink.

"C'mon, Donna" he said gently "I need you by my side for this".

He grasped her upper arms, pulled her to him and kissed her, softly and slowly.

Finally, she pulled away.

"We better get out there before they start thinking something's up"

"May be a bit late for that" the Doctor commented ruefully as they left the TARDIS to confront what she knew was not going to be easy.

So she would be there for him.

She suspected that she had picked up on the confusion in Rose's eyes before he had. But once Rose realized that she was back in the parallel world, her distress became palpable even to the Doctor. As could have been expected, she reacted even less well when it became obvious that he intended her to remain there. Without him.

Donna was compassionate and charitable by nature, and she understood how Rose must have felt bewildered, abandoned even betrayed.

But she also knew that she couldn't control his hearts, and she certainly hadn't forced him to love her – for so long, it had almost been the opposite. What had happened between her and the Doctor had been destined and inevitable and in train since before Rose and the Doctor had even met. Part of her felt sorry for Rose, but a bigger part, the part that loved and supported and protected him with a single-minded, fierce determination, that part knew she could never be apart from him again. And so now it was up to him to tell Rose. Donna didn't envy him that.

But like a friend and partner would, she did her best to help him at this most difficult of times, tried to make Rose see that the Doctor was giving her all he was able to give her, and that it was almost, _almost_ everything she had ever wanted. In some way, perhaps, it was even better, for with the new Doctor, Rose could have the very real and human joy of growing old with someone who loved her and needed her, never suffering the heartbreak of knowing one day he would have to leave her behind.

Yet, as Donna watched standing a few steps behind the Doctor, she saw the despair and awful disappointment in Rose's eyes that said it _wasn't_ enough and that prompted her last, desperate attempt, to get the Doctor – _my Doctor!_ – to stay with her in the parallel world.

And Donna found herself with her heart in her mouth, unable to breath, waiting for what her Doctor would say.

In the end, he did the only thing he could do.

He told Rose the truth.

Just the truth.

_He didn't tell her he loved her._

_He had never told her._

_And now he never would._

The truth was crushing for Rose, even though not a second later she heard the new Doctor whisper those three-little-words in her ear. And as she watched her move to kiss him, Donna knew that Rose's eyes forever more would hold a tiny glint of broken dreams.

Because Donna saw how the girl had longed to hear those words from _him_. Donna's Doctor. That he couldn't, that he didn't, say them to her was because it had been the truth for him back then just as it was the truth in his hearts now.

Donna felt almost_ - almost_- guilty in her elation and relief.

Her heart clenched a little at the sadness she saw on the Doctor 's face right now but she decided to be okay with it. She could give him that, because she knew how much Rose had meant–_still meant-_ to him, how much they had shared and how huge the Doctor's hearts were. There was room for sadness over Rose in there.

Still, she was glad when the Doctor eventually turned and, without a second glance back at Rose and the new Doctor locked in passionate embrace, walked with her back into the TARDIS, the door closing behind them.


	13. Letting go

_Disclaimer: The Doctor and Donna belong to the BBC, unfortunately, but I will happily let it keep Rose._

**Letting go**

The Doctor was conflicted.

Part of him was just _humming_ with anticipation, knowing that in less than an hour he would finally, FINALLY have Donna all to himself, no impending apocalypses, no mortal enemies to deal with, no companion-o-rama.

Just him and his ginger goddess in the TARDIS with all the time in the world to explore the universes and the galaxies and _each other_.

_This _thought was conducive to a jaunty mood, and he flitted about the console room, brushing past Donna as often as he dared without rousing suspicion. Partly for his, but mainly for her benefit.

Because he could sense the emotional struggle she was going through right now, that somehow, despite everything that had happened, everything they had been through, all they had said and promised to each other, she still harboured doubts that it was real, that things were actually working out for them, that he had chosen her.

_When actually I'm the lucky one, because she's chosen _me.

He stopped for a moment in front of one of the TARDIS's screens. Rose immediately sidled suffocatingly close, as if trying to occupy the very same space. He wasn't surprised that it no longer sat well with him, made him feel a little uncomfortable.

But he still hadn't worked out what he was going to say to her.

_I have absolutely no idea. No words._

He paused, contemplating.

_Maybe I could try miming it instead_.

The corners of his lips automatically curved upwards at the memory of playing life-or-death charades at Lady Edison's house with Donna.

_Might end up taking a whole lot less time than talking. And may actually be marginally less difficult _

Another pause, but then a frown this time.

_This was no time for frivolity._

_Mind you, it might help get me through what I'm about to do._

_Saying goodbye, this time for good, to someone I loved quite dearly._

_Still love._

_Different now, though._

He rolled his eyes as he overheard the new Doctor make a random comment that he thought rather droll, but obviously amused Rose, who looked up momentarily to flash the new Doctor a brilliant grin.

Seizing the opportunity, the Doctor looked over to where Donna was and gave her a small, almost imperceptible smile.

_Don't worry, I'm still yours, _he silently soothed with strong, dark eyes.

He had barely turned back to the console when he suddenly felt Rose's hand smooth slowly and languorously down his arm in a barely-disguised come-on.

In the past, that touch would have made his hearts dance and his eyes spark in delight, but now it just unsettled him and he made to fiddle unnecessarily with one of the TARDIS's levers just to be able to remove himself from Rose's touch without crushing her feelings.

He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to imagine it was Donna's hand doing that to him instead and immediately felt his insides warm and his mind calm.

As the TARDIS came to a stop at Bad Wolf Bay, the Doctor's mind went back unbidden to the last time he had been there.

When he had gazed into Rose's tear-stained eyes and almost told her he loved her.

More than once he had thought back to that day and what had happened between them.

Back in the TARDIS, weeping and alone, he had believed that the very cosmos had conspired to keep them apart and that his hearts would never heal.

He recalled that he had not even been granted the decency of a grieving period before his ship had drawn Donna to her, and to him. The last thing he thought he'd needed. He remembered their very first encounter, when he had seen her as nothing more than some ticked-off, loud-mouthed redhead annoyed at his mere presence and even less interested in spending time with him than he was with her.

He remembered how quickly that had all changed, and how, by the time they had defeated the Racnoss and saved the earth (the first time of many), he had become quite smitten with her.

How crushed he had felt when she'd turned him down.

And how elated, when he finally found her again. Holding each other _– the feel of her, the smell of her skin and hair was like coming home - _and then seconds later, dashing off on their next adventure, sliding as seamlessly into their partnership as if they had been doing it all their lives.

He remembered it all in a flash, in the time it took for Jackie and Rose and the new Doctor to open the door and step outside the TARDIS.

Leaving him free to snatch a few moments with Donna before having to face up to one of the hardest things he would ever have to do.

It was something he couldn't do alone. He needed Donna, his partner, his companion, his best friend, to be there. He was counting on her support, her encouragement, the quiet strength of her presence.

So he went to her then, grabbed her hand and whispered seductively in her ear that in mere moments it would be _just the two of them_ and a lifetime together, biting gently on the soft pink of her earlobe, tasting the sweet smooth skin that nestled behind and wondering if she, like him, suddenly felt her nether regions infuse with liquid fire.

Her knees buckling in a near-swoon told him she did. And as his hands caught her, cradling her beautifully ample posterior in their sure and eager grasp, he couldn't resist a squeeze and was gratified by her moan of pleasure into his shoulder. Grabbing her arms and pulling her to him, time seemed to stand still then as he captured her lips with his again and again, gaining sustenance and energy with each subsequent kiss.

Reluctantly breaking their embrace, he sought her eyes once more and was bolstered by the calm resolve he saw there. He could do this.

With Donna by his side, he could do anything.

* * *

><p>Although he spotted Rose from quite a way off, it was not her face that his mind saw. Instead, he pictured Donna as she walked behind him, all determined blue eyes, firmly set lips, <em>slightly<em> fierce expression.

So it wasn't until he was standing right in front of Rose, less than a few metres away, that he first noticed the confusion in her eyes, that being here, in this place, back in the parallel world, was not at all where she had been expecting to find herself. And that she found that a very distressing thought.

"You're back home" he said simply.

Her disappointment was palpable.

Then he heard Donna speak.

"And the walls of the world are closing again, now that the Reality Bomb never happened. It's dimensional retro-closure. See, I really get that stuff now."

He smiled to himself for a microsecond. _She really DOES get it. _ He was so proud of her.

But the girl in front of him was looking increasingly bereft as it slowly dawned on her what was going to happen, what must happen. He was going to leave her here without him.

"No, but…I spent all that time trying to find you." The panic in her voice was rising. "I'm not going back now!"

He steeled himself to speak the words that would shatter her world.

"But you've got to. 'Cause we saved the universe, but at a cost."

His gaze flickered to the new Doctor.

"And the cost is him. He destroyed the Daleks. He committed genocide. He's too dangerous to be left on his own".

_And I'm too selfish and in love to bring him with me._

The new Doctor protested.

"But you made me!"

_Yes, Donna and I made you, and now I have to leave you. _

The Doctor suddenly felt at a loss, not knowing how to explain adequately why he was doing things this way.

Because he hadn't even talked about this with Donna or the new Doctor, never mind Rose.

Yet here he was, making decisions that would affect all of them profoundly for the rest of time.

Was he really some sort of god that could decide fate like that for the people he loved so much?

After all, this was not just about him and Rose. It would mean separation for him and Donna from the new Doctor. Someone made from them. Someone who was a part of them. He remembered how close, how in synch they had been from the very first moment, a triumvarite, a unified force, each understanding and complementing the others perfectly.

Who was he to tear that asunder?

Terrible doubt hovered at the edge of his resolve.

_Can I really do it?_

_What right do I have to choose for them?_

_How can I hurt Donna, the woman I claim to love, like this?_

For he didn't even know how the three of them being apart would affect him, let alone her.

_But I feel like I have no other choice._

_Because I can't leave Rose with nothing, not after everything that has happened. _

He realized he needed to push on, to finish what he had started, no matter how difficult. Someone had to keep things moving forward.

"Exactly. You were born in battle, full of blood and anger and revenge." he told the new Doctor, before turning to Rose and saying, a little sadly: "Remind you of someone you know?"

Rose said nothing, her expression forlorn and empty. He continued.

"That's me, when we first met. And you made me better. Now you can do the same for him".

"But he's not you" she said, despairingly.

"He needs you. That's very me"

_And I know now who __I__ need, who I've always needed but didn't realize until you came back into my life._

He smiled sadly at the irony.

_I can't give myself to you anymore, because I already belong to someone else. _

And with perfect timing and understanding that someone else spoke up to help him, just like she always did.

"But it's better than that, though. Don't you see what he's trying to give you?" Donna looked at the new Doctor. "Tell her, go on"

So the new Doctor told Rose.

And just as the Doctor had suspected, and feared, it still wasn't enough.

For even as he and Donna turned to go back to the TARDIS, Rose ran after him, one last desperate throw of the dice to try to get him to stay with her.

She asked the question the Doctor had been dreading, but knew was inevitable.

"All right. Both of you, answer me this. When I last stood on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me? Go on, say it."

She was challenging him to deny what she obviously believed without question to still be true.

_So here goes, then. It all comes down to this._

He spoke, clearly and deliberately.

"I said 'Rose Tyler'."

"Yeah, and how was that sentence gonna end?"

Her angry confidence was almost arrogant. She so thought she knew what he was going to say. He closed his eyes for the briefest of moments.

_This is it. This is when I break Rose's heart. _

_Again. _

_Because I have to._

_So that I don't break _hers_._

"Does it need saying?"

He imagined Rose screaming at him in her mind: _Yes! It bloody well does!_

No matter, though, even if she had said it out loud.

His answer would've been the same.

Because he couldn't give her what she wanted. He couldn't be who she wanted him to be anymore.

In the time they had been apart, he had been changed irrevocably. By the loss of her, but even more by being with Donna. The person he needed to stop him. To challenge him. To be his conscience and his guide and his heart when he sometimes got too lost in his own darkness.

The person that Rose had never been, had never wanted to be.

He suddenly realized that Rose's truth, what she had wanted to hear from him, was no longer _his_ truth.

And at that moment, he questioned whether it ever had been.

Rose, fighting to the last, ploughed on, turning to the new Doctor: "And you Doctor? What was the end of that sentence?"

As the Doctor watched, he already knew what his newer yet different self would say. That he _would_ be able to tell Rose what she wanted to hear, give her what she needed.

And when Rose, with eyes that seemed to believe, _wanted_ to believe, moved to kiss the younger man, the Doctor dared to let his guilt be assuaged a little, a light of hope that Rose would be able to find happiness without him flickering into being.

And yet, it couldn't lift the heaviness in his heart at the price they had all paid so that things could go on.

Rose, living a normal life, but perhaps forever haunted by the fact that her Doctor was not _him_, that in the end _he_ had not chosen her.

The other Doctor, so new to life, yet already filled with such power and anger and suffering, ripped apart from those who were part of his very being.

And Donna, forced to give up the one she had birthed so that _he_, the Doctor, could be with her. He would carry that regret with him always.

But at least he would have Donna by his side to help him bear the burden, to share his sorrow as well as his joy, to be one with him throughout time and space, the Doctor-Donna, a formidable force for good.

So he turned away from Rose and the new Doctor and walked with renewed purpose towards the TARDIS, knowing that the most perfect companion that the galaxies could ever have come up with for him was close behind and had his back, just as she always had and always would.

He wondered if she noticed the extra spring in his Converse-clad step.


	14. Forever yours

_**Disclaimer**: Does it really need saying? Okay, I will. The Doctor. Donna. They're so not mine. *sounds of inconsolable sobbing ensue*_

_**Author's note**: Thank you so much to all my readers for your reviews, story/author alerts and story/author favouriting. Means the world to me to know there are people out there enjoying this adventure._

_I know a number of you were awaiting this chapter with a deal of trepidation._

_Well, wait no more._

**Forever yours**

Back in the TARDIS, the Doctor had them out of Bad Wolf Bay and into the vortex in the blink of an eye. And then, just as quickly, he was all over her_._

His hands! (again!), seemed to be EVERYWHERE at once (_were there some hidden 'alien' ones she'd somehow missed earlier on?) _and she thought she might just go into (a) sensory overload, (b) cardiac arrest or (c) both.

_In fact, I think I could die in ecstasy right here, right now. And not really care about it._

Exactly how he got to be so talented in his ministrations she wasn't sure she wanted to know; what she _was_ 100 percent sure of was that she did not want him to stop any time soon. Or possibly ever_._

She couldn't remember having a man pressed against her like this feeling quite as sensuous and _exciting_ as when his long, wiry body melded itself to hers; the insistent presence making her all sorts of hot and bothered to the point where, _well, he could ask me to do anything at this moment, and God help me, I would, because the way I'm feeling I just can't think straight anymore._

She wasn't even cognisant of him moving them towards the jump set or him lying down on it. The only thing she was aware of right now was that separating her body from his was NOT an option. In fact, it would be a downright _sin_.

So she didn't resist him pulling her down on top of him because she knew it was exactly the _right _thing to do. His low, slightly guttural groan at her full weight pressing along the length of him all but confirmed it.

His lips had started back on their exploring way and were now moving over her throat and neck and_ his tongue, his incomprehensibly dexterous tongue_, all warm and wet, was licking and tasting and tracing patterns on her skin. It was soon joined by teeth and lips as they gently nipped and sucked, setting all her nerve endings on fire and _was it actually possible to be this turned on and still breathing?_

And then he spoke.

_God, that man could talk through wet cement…._

"Donna…"

"Mmmh..what?' _Hello, killing the mood much? Can't we just keep kissing?…._

"Marry me?"

It didn't quite register with her at first.

_Ha ha, good one Spaceman, strange time to make a joke but, okay, I'll humour you._

_Not stopping the kissing though._

So with her lips still crushed against his she managed to mumble out: "'Course I will".

"Mmmph…really?"

_Yeah, yeah, really I will, now, mind back on the task at hand and….aaaaaah. My God, does he have _any _idea how distracting his lips are right there?_

She somehow managed to refocus and finally respond.

"Yeah, absolutely" _Why is he talking about this now?_

And then he stopped kissing her.

Donna almost pouted.

"Right now?" His eyes were hopeful.

_Damn, he is not kidding about this._

Donna drew in a sharp breath as she sat up with a start, aware that her already-elevated pulse rate had just shot up even more.

"Now?" she repeated dumbly "You wanna get married right now?"

He looked at her then with an excitement and brightness that she had never seen before and, cupping her face with his hands, place a single kiss on her lips, all hot and tender from their flurry of activity.

His expression turned serious again.

"More than anything." The smoulder in his voice was unmistakable, and the fluttering in Donna's stomach just then made her feel glad she was sitting down.

After what had happened between them over the past few days, the thought of marrying the Doctor at some point in the future was a thought that had crossed her mind more than once (in fact, she took rather secret pleasure in entertaining it) but she never imagined that the future would arrive quite so soon.

This was a big step, after all, and a big decision to make, of significantly greater gravitas than "So, which planet do you want to visit today?" or "What would you like on your toast?"

Then again, what did it really matter when it happened? They were the closest of friends. She had already given her heart to him, committed the rest of her life to travelling with the Doctor in the TARDIS. This was a step they would inevitably take.

Now seemed as good a time as any.

Her ruminations took only a few seconds, but in that time, she noticed him swallow a few times and his eyes flick down and across, before finally re-engaging hers. Her big, brave Time Lord who laughed – even _quipped_ – in the face of death every other day of the week, looked more nervous than she had ever seen him. And the naked hope and vulnerability written all over his face at once warmed and broke her heart.

With tear-filled eyes, she gave him her answer.

"Well, then skinny boy, what are we waiting for?"

She smiled as he let out a breath probably he didn't even know he'd been holding and took him in her arms, hugging him tightly for the longest time.

_Donna Noble, you are officially the happiest woman in the universe._

* * *

><p>It seemed like no time at all before they arrived on Agifilero, which according to the Doctor was also known as the "Lurve planet".<p>

_Can't say I'm surprised, with a randy Italian name like that._

Although, curiously enough, as the Doctor went on to explain, the planet had actually been inspired by Ancient Japan, a fact verified by the bamboo grove, neatly lain-out stone path and perfect tranquility they found themselves in as the walked from the TARDIS towards wherever it was they were going, his arm around her waist, his adoring eyes never far from hers.

She had been surprised at first when he told her he had never been here before, what with how long he had lived and how widely he had travelled, but as her heart wrenched at the sadness in his voice when he recalled his lost family, she understood why it may not have been at the top of his 'must-see' list.

Until now.

That he had finally decided to make the journey because of her…it blew Donna away.

How could she have ever doubted his love for her?

It hit her then, all of a sudden, that this man from Gallifrey, this amazing, dazzling man that stopped wars and saved galaxies, he had chosen her and they were going to travel the stars together forever.

_Never mind most important woman in creation, I am the most _blessed_ woman in all of time and space._

She was suddenly grateful to every sad, sorry, pathetic boyfriend she had ever had, yes, even the one that wore nail varnish and the one who had wanted to marry her only so he could feed her to a giant spider.

She was grateful to them because each one had, in his own little way, led her to _him, _who though he hadn't been her first, would definitely be her last.

Turning to him at that moment, she kissed the tear that fell from his eye in reverence at her having chosen him, and knew that she would always remember how it tasted and how he looked just then and what she felt inside, indescribable and magical and perfect.

At last they arrived at their destination, a creature, one of the most serenely remarkable Donna had ever seen, obviously awaiting them.

It ushered them inside, and Donna, after giving the Doctor a brief kiss, found herself in a small, simply furnished room where the creature had told her she would "prepare".

As she looked around she noted what this would involve, mainly the gossamer light white robe draped on a stand in one corner. Mysteriously, it was exactly her size and when she caught a glimpse of herself wearing it in the full-length mirror she couldn't help tilting her head admiringly.

_Doesn't this just hug my curves in all the right places! Should get all my clothes made from this stuff._

She made a mental note to ask the Doctor about it later.

Donna moved to sit on the floor in front of a low dresser, also with a mirror, and picked up a bottle that looked like hair spray.

_Thank God, my hair is still looking a little 'excited' from our earlier TARDIS activities_.

As she applied the spray, her eyes grew wide in wonder as it not so much fixed as _transformed_ her hair into a cascade of gleaming, bouncing curls, even more ginger than usual.

Donna smiled to herself, imagining the Doctor's reaction. He'd always loved her hair, she'd often catch him gazing at it or sometimes even (trying to surreptitiously but failing miserably) sniffing it. Running his hands through it as they lay together each night, especially while they were kissing, had become one of his very favourite things.

_Quite the sensitive sensory type, my Spaceman. _

_Probably got something to do with how skinny he is. _

She wondered if that might change once they were married, whether the 'podge of contentment' that seemed to afflict every newlywed couple she'd ever met would hit them too.

_Nah, probably just me. He'll always be too skinny for words. _

Contemplating the somewhat unfair distribution of body fat between them, Donna pondered the likelihood of his sonic screwdriver having some kind of setting that could do something about that.

_Have to ask the Doctor later about that, too_

_After all, it would probably help me keep up with all the running, cause with the Doctor's amazing talent to attract trouble, that is one thing that is NEVER going to change._

Donna's expression softened as she reminisced almost fondly on the myriad of alien encounters and last-minute escapes that had been her life since hooking up with the Doctor. _We certainly do have an _aerobic_ relationship._

_Of course, there's more than one way to do aerobics._

With that slightly naughty thought, she stood, whispered a prayer of gratitude and thanks to whatever, whoever had conspired to see this day come to pass and exited the room.

* * *

><p>He was already waiting for her, and she watched with some amusement his expression of awestruck astonishment as he took in her appearance, his mouth opening but not that was intelligible coming out.<p>

She couldn't resist teasing him in response, although she was secretly pleased that her visage had such an effect on him. As for him, well, he had never looked so handsome and happy and _its doing all sorts of things to my insides right now….._

The Doctor continued to stare rather stupidly at her, trying but failing to articulate what he thought of her bridal get-up, so she employed some gentle humour to re-focus him as they made their way out into a garden that looked as if it could have come straight from the set of _Memoirs of a Geisha_ except that it was way more tranquil. And it was the Doctor, not Ken Watanabe, by her side. Not that Ken would have been a bad thing by any stretch, but, well, he didn't have a TARDIS, did he? Or a sonic screwdriver, for that matter. _Not to mention, he's not my best friend in the entire universe._

_Oh my gosh, I am actually getting to marry my best friend. _

Momentarily overcome with emotion, she blinked back fresh tears as she turned to the Doctor and her mouth silently formed the three words that encapsulated all her heart held for him.

_I love you._

By the look of things, she wasn't the only one feeling the intensity of this moment, she could see the tide of emotions crashing in waves over him, even as he strove valiantly to remain calm and centred. _Silly Martian is just a great big softy. _She squeezed his hand in a gesture of understanding and support.

The serene creature began, and as he spoke of the sacred and blessed nature of what she and the Doctor were about to do, as well as the inviolable and eternal nature of the bond that would be forged between them, Donna, to her mild astonishment, found herself pledging her eternal commitment to the Doctor with an assurance she never knew she possessed, all her insecurity and doubt fading into nothing as if it were mist dissipating in the garden's tranquil surrounds.

She managed to hold herself together as the creature spoke with unworldly, perfect knowledge of the mystery and wondrous nature of the love she and the Doctor had for each other, the robes reflecting the secretly-held tenets that nestled in each of their hearts.

But it took every bit of self control she had to keep her composure as the Doctor took her hands in his and promised to always choose and honour and cherish her, the smile on his lips reflected right through to his very soul.

As she felt him slide the ring onto her finger, her mind went back to a rooftop, gentle brown eyes and a promise to protect. It was a promise he had never broken, his devotion and commitment to her unwavering despite everything they had been through.

Those same, ancient eyes, brimming over with love for her now, held her gaze as he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, setting off a slow burn that moved through her until every part of her felt warm and tingling.

She thought she might lose it right there, her breath hitching, a lump forming in her throat, overwhelmed by how it felt to be desired and adored like this.

Another pause to re-gather her emotions, and then she made her promises to him, to choose and respect him and support him no matter what, for the rest of her life. She was a little surprised, given the gravity of what they were entering into, at just how easy and effortless and _right_ it felt to make such promises to him, but she had now reached a place where she simply had no more doubts about him, or herself, or _them. _

So when she placed the ring on his long, thin, elegant finger, she felt giddily emboldened, enough to allude to what she hoped, now that they were 'official', would transpire between them in the very near future, once they were alone together. She underlined her point with expectant, widened eyes, and a brief, ever-so-slightly-flirtacious biting of her bottom lip.

When he responded by drawing said finger lightly and languidly along her wrist, she shivered in delicious anticipation.

Finally, the creature pronounced them husband and wife, and the Doctor kissed her.

Not for the first time, of course, but then nobody had ever kissed her as a bride, a real, honest-to-God bride, and she realized with a start that there was nothing quite like the first kiss from your _husband_, for it told her everything about what he hoped and wanted and dreamed for their life together.

_Well, the kiss and certain other parts of his anatomy told her that._

Donna became the clichéd blushing bride at that moment.

Though not too blushing to catch his playfully suggestive eyes and indicate that that sentiment was something she quite welcomed.

But then, just like the Doctor, he got carried away and waggled his eyebrows at her in boyish enthusiasm, and Donna, slightly mortified, felt compelled to slap him lightly in admonishment, prompting the Doctor to yelp in mock hurt and pout in that adorable puppy-dog way of his.

She was putty in his hands then, and he damn well knew it, and she felt a tiny bit annoyed that he was able to manipulate her so easily. Scrabbling to cover, she fell back into humorous innuendo, her old standby anytime she felt nervous or vulnerable, despite suspecting he could see right through it. _Can't get too down on myself for it, though. Gonna take time to break the habit of a lifetime. _

She looked up at him again, and the cheeky glint in his eyes said _Yeah, __I see it and I just _love_ the way you make me laugh and I love _you_. _

"C'mon" she whispered almost urgently, her cheeks hot, come over with shyness again. "Let me _show_ you what I mean," trying desperately not to be too obvious.

He seemed eager to take her up on her offer and let go one of her hands, tugging the other gently around. "Then let me lead the way, _Mrs_ Noble."

_Music to my ears. _"I like the sound of _that_….."

And as she caught his eye, it was as if there was no-one else there, just two in a universe that turned and existed only for their pleasure, and _that's how it's supposed to be_, she thought. _Spaceman and Earthgirl, the Doctor-Donna, partners in crime, travellers through time….You're forever mine _and there it was again, she was lost in his ageless, boundless eyes, _but that's okay, I can see he's lost in mine too _and she gave his hands a gentle squeeze as if to acknowledge the perfect rightness of their union, of them being bound together in such a way. _This is us, married…_

The Doctor squeezed back and then, suddenly, the spell was broken as she felt him turn them back around again to receive the blessing on their marriage from the serene creature. As its gentle, melodious words flowed out, tumbling and dancing around them in golden, joyous celebration, Donna felt her heart soar as free and light as a bird.

And now, connected in every way (but one) to her beloved long streak of alien nothing who, ironically, was her _everything_, she felt his hearts join her there, flying together into the glorious, endless blue.


	15. Bound by love

_Disclaimer: Me and ownership of the Doctor and Donna are parallel worlds. _

_Author's note: The emotionally prone among you may wish to keep a tissue or two on standby. Special thanks to sykira for the beta-ing._

**Bound by love**

He paused for a moment, his back to her, and sighed softly.

Then, like an oversized, startled rabbit, he dashed towards the TARDIS console - he couldn't wait to leave Bad Wolf Bay and never come back.

It took him only seconds to kick the controls to send them into the vortex and then he set upon her like they had been apart for days instead of mere hours. His hands and long, skilled fingers explored everywhere, stroking her arms, her back, the sumptuous curves of her hips. When he reached there, he pulled her closer, unable to help himself, or the reaction his body had to her then. His hands slipped underneath her top to smooth over her bare skin - eliciting pleasing moans from her - as his lips kissed a searing trail from mouth to ear, all the while murmuring: "I love you, Donna, I love you _so_ much".

Delirious with passion he inched them back towards the jump seat and lay down along it, pulling her on top of him. Groaning with pleasure at the pressure of her body on his, he started kissing down her throat, and into the hollow of her neck, his tongue flicking out to taste her flushed, warm skin, his ears delighting in the readiness and vocalness of her response. He stayed there a while, suckling and nibbling, before moving his way back up to her lips.

Still kissing her, he somehow managed to speak: "Donna…"

"Mmmh..what?'

"Marry me?"

Without breaking liplock, she replied: "'Course I will".

"Mmmph…really?"

"Aaahh…" He was kissing her neck again. "Yeah, absolutely"

He stopped kissing her and looked right into her eyes.

"Right now?"

She drew in a breath and started to sit back up on the jump seat, her eyes wide and heart pumping wildly.

"Now?" she repeated "You wanna get married right now?"

Eyes bright with excitement and hope, he took her face in his hands and placed a single kiss on her very red and enticingly swollen lips.

"More than anything."

There was no more reason to wait, he didn't want to delay another second in committing himself, binding his hearts, his mind, his body, his soul, to her forever.

She seemed momentarily taken aback, and he wondered if he had spoken too hastily.

He then realized with a start that up to this point he had actually been _assuming_ that she would say yes, that because they were best friends - not to mention she had said she was going to travel with him forever - _thank you SO MUCH Martha Jones for sharing - _and because of his and Donna's new closeness, this new love between them that they had finally decided to acknowledge and protect and nurture, that it was a given that she would accept his proposal.

With some deal of alarm, he had to admit that in fact there was a very real possibility that she would say no, turn him down, leave him, and his hearts felt like the weight of the fear and dread of that potentiality might crush the very life out of them.

Unconsciously holding his breath he waited, agonizingly, for what seemed like an eternity, swallowing nervously, looking down and side to side at first, but finally unable to stop himself from turning his wide and pleading eyes back to her (beautiful, beautiful) face, no matter what answer might be coming.

Just in time to see the corners of her mouth turn up, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Well, then skinny boy, what are we waiting for?" she said before giving him a brilliant smile and throwing her arms around his neck, hugging him like she would never let go.

He almost wept with relief.

Finally, and a little reluctantly, he detached himself from her embrace to move to the console and set a new course for the TARDIS. As he punched in the final coordinates, he glanced over at her and giving her a manic grin.

_I'm the happiest man alive._

* * *

><p>It seemed like no time at all before they arrived.<p>

"Welcome" he said as he opened the TARDIS doors with a flourish "to Agafilero".

"Sounds a bit Italian" she commented, slipping her hand in his.

He closed his eyes for a beat, in utter bliss. _Just love how we always, automatically hold hands wherever we go these days. _

"It's the Planet of Luurve" he replied finally, drawing out the vowel in what he hoped came across as his 'smoulderingly sexy' voice and waggled his eyebrows, prompting her to arch one of hers in mild amusement.

As they walked along a narrow stone path through a green bamboo grove, he dropped her hand so as to wrap his arm around her waist, relishing her warm softness. The gentle, melodic sounds of whatever was the local wildlife floated lightly on the breeze.

"Reminds me a bit of that time we found ourselves caught in the middle of _The Tale of Genji._" she said, taking in the lush tranquility of their surrounds.

"Species from all across the galaxies come her to pledge themselves to each other" he explained "The environment _is _actually modeled on Ancient Japan, which was judged to have the perfect level of zen calmness, physical beauty and sacredness necessary for a place of commitment. Or so I've read"

She seemed surprised. "You mean, you've never been here before?"

"No, this is the first time." A pause. "I mean, not for me to get married, although _that_ was way back when I still had a home planet…" He couldn't keep a touch of sadness from his voice.

She picked up on it immediately and hugged him closer, giving him a comforting squeeze.

"Well, it is the first time for _me _to get married. For real." She peered up at him almost shyly.

He looked down at her fondly, remembering back to when she entered his life in a white-clad whirlwind. "I am _so_ honoured to be your first."

"First and last" she responded, reaching up to kiss him on the cheek and catching a single tear that ran down on to her lips.

After a short but very pleasant stroll, they reached a small wooden building with a red paper umbrella outside. A tall creature dressed in a sparkling white robe, with pale, luminescent skin, ink-black hair drawn back into a loose ponytail and silver eyes that fixed on them with a solemn but friendly gaze, stood at the entrance.

"I welcome you to Agafilero, Doctor-Donna. Your rooms are prepared. We will begin presently".

They bowed slightly and followed the creature into the building, where it first indicated a small room on the left "for the bride". Donna bowed again, kissed the Doctor lightly on the lips and then went in, closing the sliding door behind her.

The Doctor continued on a few steps, then the creature stopped and indicated a room on the right: "This is where you will prepare." It bowed slightly, turned and was gone in an instant.

The Doctor looked around at the immaculate, if spartan, room. The walls were a rough-hewn off-white and free of any decoration. In a far corner, there was an alcove with an arrangement of blooms he had never seen before, whose colours changed every time he looked at them and a fragrance that seemed to reach into his very hearts, infusing them with warmth, peace and utter contentment. Hanging in the alcove was a small scroll on which he recognized _kanji_ for faith, hope and love written in the hand of an obviously skilled artisan.

The room contained nothing else but a stand in the corner nearest him on which a long white robe hung. The fineness of the fabric gave the garment an ethereal appearance and when he touched it with his fingertips, it was like being caressed. He quickly moved to change and put it on and, sensing that was all he needed to do in preparation, silently slid open the door and stepped back outside.

He had been waiting less than a minute when he heard her door slide open and he turned to see her standing before him, radiant and more beautiful than he thought it was possible for someone to be.

She wore the same style of robe, which highlighted every one of her luscious curves. Her gorgeous, fiery hair fell in soft curls around her face, over her shoulders and down her back in a bright, shining cascade, and the contrast made her eyes more blue and her smile more brilliant than he had ever seen. In her hands she carried some of the same flowers he had seen in his room.

He momentarily forgot to breath.

"Close your mouth, dear" she quipped as she linked her arm in his.

"Donna…you….I….I don't have words…." he began.

"That'll be a first" she joked lightly even as he caught her raking her eyes appreciatively over his own form. He smiled ever so slightly to himself as they linked arms and walked down the short hall to emerge into a garden, where the creature stood, waiting.

The Doctor had seen plenty of beautiful, spectacular even, gardens in his travels, but for some reason he couldn't quite put his finger on, this one seemed more _right_ than any other. Every plant, every rock, was just as it should be, the water that tumbled down from the small waterfall into an expansive pond with brilliant orange fish and crossed by a little red bridge sparkled more brightly, the green was the essence of cool refreshment, the red its exact complement, the musical interplay of the water, the animals and even the breeze sung to his very soul.

It was all so tranquil and _perfect_ but it didn't even come close to comparing with the woman who walked beside him, whose eyes sparkled as she turned her head to him and mouthed _I love you._

_Oh my gosh, are these _butterflies_ I'm feeling in my stomach? _His brow creased into a slight frown. _I'm an almighty Time Lord who's done this before and I'm getting _butterflies_? _He marveled to himself, not for the first time, at the effect Donna could have on him.

He took a deep breath in through his nose to settle and centre himself as they walked across the bridge and stopped in front of the serene creature and bowed again.

The creature spoke.

"You have come here today, willingly and with expectant hearts, to be joined to each other in the sacred bonds of matrimony. What you do today is a good and blessed thing, but it is not to be entered into lightly. A commitment made on Agafilero is one that can only be broken by death and demands complete truth and fidelity for as long as you are joined. Do you commit yourselves to love, nurture, encourage, support and protect each other for as long as you both shall live?"

"We do" the Doctor and Donna answered together, with mutual surety.

"Each marriage is a unique joining of two individuals, two free wills, two souls who have chosen to love each other above all others. So too, the defining characteristic of each partner's love for the other is special and unique. It is shown by the robes you wear today".

The Doctor looked down at his robe then, and noticed it that it had turned the clearest, most vivid shade of red he had ever seen.

"Your love for this woman is self-sacrificial. You love her more than your own life and would willingly spill your blood to the last drop for her. Your love for her is your very life force, passionate, fierce and devoted. She feels confident, safe and treasured in your love."

The creature turned to Donna, whose robe was now a shade of the deepest, richest blue.

"Your love for this man is profound and steadfast, you are loyal to him and trust him above all others. Your love for him is a sanctuary, giving him great peace, comfort, encouragement and stability. In your love, he finds complete happiness and fulfillment."

The Doctor was unable to stop the tears from falling and as he gazed upon his beautiful bride, he saw her mirror his emotions.

The creature extended its hand on which two gleaming rings lay.

"Now, please take each others' hands and repeat after me."

The Doctor looked upon the beloved visage of his ginger angel and poured his hearts into every word.

"I take you to be my eternal wife, to hold you and be by your side in everything, for better or for worse – _he gave her a wry smile, remembering – _wherever we are, whatever we have, however we feel, I will always _choose_ to love you and honour you and cherish you and adore you for as long as we both shall live".

He took the slightly smaller ring that now twinkled like a tiny star fallen from the sky. He placed it gently on her pale and trembling finger and thought back to the first time they had done that. Then, it had been to keep her safe. While so many other things about their lives and their relationship had changed, that fierce devotion and commitment to protect never had.

He lifted her ringed hand and kissed it slowly, the soft expression in his brown eyes reassuring her that his promises to her were as inviolable and lasting as the ring he had just given her.

He saw that Donna was completely overcome then, her breath catching, swallowing heavily and closing her eyes for a moment -to keep the tears at bay? - before she spoke.

"I take you to be my eternal husband, to hold you and be by your side in everything, for better or for worse, wherever we are whatever we have, however we feel, I will always _choose_ to love you and respect you and support you and treasure you for as long as we both shall live." She gave him a wink. "Spaceman."

Her words were like the sweetest music to his ears and couldn't help breaking into a grin. She smiled back at him as she slid the larger ring over his long, slender finger, her low, sultry voice full of delicious promises: "Now that we're official, just you _wait_ 'til I get you alone".

He said nothing, his gaze not leaving hers as his finger traced slowly and undetectably along the underside of her wrist.

She shivered.

The creature gently cleared its throat.

"By all that is holy, sacred and pure, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride"

Needing no further bidding, he took her in his arms and kissed her, and his kiss spoke of a lifetime to come of love and devotion and happiness.

_And lots of seriously good sex. _

He saw her look up at him suddenly, no doubt picking up on that last thought of his – _Ah, I forgot, she can do that now_ – but the way she peered at him then through long, almost indecently _propositioning_ eyelashes, told him that she was looking forward to that part as much as he was_. _So he felt emboldened to give her a cheeky eyebrow waggle, earning himself the lightest of slaps.

"Ow! Is that any way to treat your new husband?" He fixed faux-wounded eyes on her and pouted, knowing she wouldn't be able to resist. It worked.

"Oh, you're taking it all the wrong way" she said soothingly but with a barely-detectable quavering in her voice "that wasn't an _angry_ slap, that was, you know, more an affectionate, warming-you-up couple-y type of _love pat._"

_I bet she's wondering whether I can see through that ribald humour to the nervousness she's desperately trying to hide._

He raised one eyebrow, unconvinced.

_Yep. Sure can._

Her tiny, guilty glance told him she knew she was found out, but he gave her his most adoring-yet-playful smile to reassure her that it only made him love her all the more.

"C'mon" she whispered, her cheeks flushing self-consciously. "Let me _show_ you what I mean" eyes flicking nervously, almost imperceptibly at him.

"Then let me lead the way, _Mrs_ Noble" he said, as he began to turn her body gently.

"I like the sound of _that_….." she began.

..and then her voice grew quiet and looking upon him were those gorgeous blue eyes ringed with golden light and time just …._stopped…._It stopped completely, and everything else but them faded away, an inconsequential swirl around them, the only two people in a universe that so obviously had been made for them and the love they shared. It was exquisite peace, magical, something he had never, ever felt in almost a millennium of being but now realized he would have from now on, as long as they were together. _Together. Me and the most beautiful, amazing, brilliant woman in creation. My wife. And she's smiling at me. _

He felt her squeeze his hands, and overcome with the most profound sense of love for her, he squeezed back.

Then he remembered where he was, and …."Oh, almost forgot". He stopped and turned them back around to face the serene creature and all three bowed deeply.

"All the blessings and best wishes from Agafilero for a magnificent marriage go with you, Doctor-Donna" it said, before closing its eyes and lowering its head again.

As the Doctor led Donna back across the bridge and towards a building the creature had indicated as the bridal suite, he looked again into her endless azure eyes, shining with love and happiness, and his hearts swelled with elated, joyous anticipation at spending forever with his precious Earthgirl.

And forever started now.


	16. First

**Author's note: **Ah, it's been a while, over a month actually, since I last posted a chapter for this series, and I apologise for the delay in getting to you this (according to some) "much-anticipated" installment. Real life, job and all that. I hope you enjoy the chapter.

_**Disclaimer**: The 'family' time-slot for Doctor Who did not allow the BBC, who owns the Doctor and Donna, to screen this kind of stuff. But we all know it so happened. _

* * *

><p><strong>First<strong>

They had barely spoken during the short walk through the garden, their brief glances and clasped hands communicating for them. It wasn't hard for her to tell what the Doctor was thinking; the unbridled anticipation of his wide-eyed sparkle was at once so pure and deeply erotic. As she wondered what he was reading in her expression right now, her nervousness, inexplicably, started to return, bubbling closer and closer to the surface with every step she took.

By the time they reached their room, Donna's heart was beating a rapid rate of knots, and even as she hoped the Doctor might interpret that as excitement, she knew that he would be able to pick up that something was not right.

Putting aside the whole virtual mind-reading thing they had going on now, she suspected he was holding back from delving without her permission. _He knows already, but he doesn't want to assume or decide for me. Already learnt from Bad Wolf Bay. _Donna couldn't help being a little impressed by that.

Anyway, he knew her _so _well that it was nigh on impossible to fool him, so she braced herself for the inevitable question.

Problem was, she wasn't sure right then how to answer.

The Doctor slid open the _shoji_ door and then, unexpectedly, bent to pick Donna up, causing her to squeal involuntarily in surprise even as a slight smile - _he's_ _quite the traditionalist, my Spaceman - _graced her lips as he carried her over the threshold. Once through, he gently lowered her to her feet and slung an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer. She wrapped her hands round his waist and snuggled into his chest. Then they just stood, surveying their surrounds, with only the summer song of cicadas breaking through the silence.

Any other time, Donna would have described this room as just about perfect – the decoration was restrained and unobtrusive, the same type of flowers that had been in her bridal bouquet stood in a small alcove and were infusing the room with their calming, other-worldly fragrance, while a _washi _lantern cast a soft, intimate glow throughout. The fluffy cloud of a futon that had been laid out on the _tatami_ looked comfortable and inviting until Donna remembered what it actually _was_ and what it would be used for. She must have tensed unconsciously, for she suddenly saw the Doctor looking down at her, his sad brown eyes flooded with the pain of concern.

"Donna, what's wrong?" he asked quietly, turning in her embrace to face her, taking her hands in his.

She took in a breath.

"Look, it's not you, okay…well, actually it is, but not in a bad way" _How on earth am I supposed to say this without…_ "it's just…it's just that… I don't know _why_ I'm so nervous, I mean it's not like this is my first time, or anything…" _Why do I never seem to have the right words when I need them?..._

He finished the thought for her. "But it is your first time with me. Your husband" He paused before fixing his gaze squarely on her nervously darting eyes and saying – a barely-detectable catch in his voice - "Your _alien_ husband".

Donna, completely mortified – _and distressed at having picked up his flash of self-doubt over her apparent reticence_ - dropped her head in shame, feeling fresh tears welling up. She heard his voice again, achingly gentle: "That's okay, it's nothing to be embarrassed about." He tilted his head and quirked his eyebrows playfully, "I _am_, after all, an alien".

She glanced up at him and smiled, grateful for his effort to lighten her mood even in the midst of carrying his own hurt. Imagining what a state she must look as she felt errant tears dribble down her face, she turned pleading eyes to him. "I don't know why this is coming out now, it never bothered me before, right from the start, I accepted you for you, I knew who you were. It's what I fell in love with….You _know _I love you, right?"

He drew her to him even as his calm verbal affirmation broached the emotional space between them to infiltrate and comfort her heart. "Know it, feel it, see it. Never doubted it"

Somehow still unconvinced, she went to drop her head again, but felt one, cool finger lift her chin so that she was looking right into his eyes.

"Donna, it's okay. We've only just got married. We have the rest of our lives together to get comfortable with this new part of _us_. There's no rush. Don't forget, a day in Agafilero is like a second anywhere else. We almost _literally_ have as much time as we want, as we _need_ to explore everything about what being married means." He grinned widely. It's going to be brilliant!"

_God, he's good. _She could feel the calm, the assurance, the settling flowing back in. _I should have known he would give me all the time in the world._

Donna sighed as his long arms wrapped around her, holding her to him, the steady rhythm of his heartbeats bringing her back to equilibrium. They stayed there in quiet embrace for the longest time, until their breathing, their emotions, everything was in synch once more.

Finally moving apart he extended his hand to her, wiggling his fingers in invitation. "Well, are you ready then, Mrs Noble? There's a garden I'd love to explore with my new wife and very, very best friend. Who are one and the same, by the way." He smiled and gave her a wink.

She couldn't help but quirk her head at him and chuckle at the humour. He could always make her laugh, make the tension melt away, no matter how tense things got.

She took his hand, and they stepped together into the afternoon cool.

* * *

><p>Sitting in the middle of the <em>futon<em>, Donna was feeling wonderful. She had to admit, that garden walk was just what the Doctor ordered – _droll, Donna, very droll – _and to top it off, the Doctor had even managed to find an excellent restaurant nearby, where they had enjoyed the most deliciously exquisite dinner. Neither she nor the Doctor had recognised most of the things they had eaten, but by the time she had polished off the 27th micro-course, her insides were feeling all kinds of pleasant and a warm, languid stirring was making its presence felt in certain regions that Donna felt ever so slightly embarrassed to think about.

Maybe it had been the walk, maybe it had been the food - she'd almost be prepared to put money on the dessert, it had been _that _good - but if she was honest with herself, she knew that, really, it was all the Doctor and the way he was looking at her right now, the same way he'd looked at her over dinner, throughout the wedding ceremony, even during their quick trip in the TARDIS to get to this _magical_ place. It was that look of _I am completely, head-over-heels in love with you, you are the most extraordinarily wonderful person I have ever met, and the reality of spending forever with you is making me happier than I had ever thought possible. _

She looked up at him through long, gently flirtatious lashes. _Silly Spacemen, would never have never picked you for such a romantic._

But he wasn't finished, and what the expression on his face said caused a hitch in her breath and a heat she could feel spreading from her face throughout her entire body.

_I am going to make love to you like no-one ever has, beyond what you can even imagine, so much so that you are _never_ going to want to stop. _He paused in his silent stream of promises._ Never ever._

Donna gulped as she heard his words in her mind, backed by unfathomably dark, lust-filled eyes. His wordless strength and confidence at that moment stirred the most primal of desires deep within her. And she knew then, with absolute certainty, that she was ready.

* * *

><p>Without breaking gaze, he moved to stand, extending his hand to help her up. For a long moment, they stood, silently, almost as if appraising each other, but there was no inherent judgement, for their decision to accept and embrace wholly and fully had already been made. No, this time, it was precious time to admire, appreciate, tell each other with their eyes that what was before them was pleasing, longed-for, cherished.<p>

Donna almost didn't want to break the spell by moving, but she eventually couldn't help herself, she had to touch him again, not just to reassure herself that this was still all real, but because she wanted him, truly wanted him in every way.

Her hand reached out to stroke that beloved face and she watched his eyes close at her touch and heard a soft murmur rumble through his chest. She slowly moved her fingers along his cheek, then tangled them in his hair, pulling him closer. Her body delighted in the smells she was picking up from him, the aftershave, the faintest hint of nervous sweat…_did stardust and wonder have a smell? _Because she could have sworn that was there too.

Reaching up with her other hand to touch his robe – which she noticed had returned to its original white colour – she was startled to see it simply disappear right in front of her eyes. Shock was replaced rapidly by admiration for the incredibly pleasing aesthete in front of her. _Not bad at all for a skinny bloke. _

His eyes still closed, the Doctor's sharp intake of breath at the sudden skin-on-skin contact indicated he had not been expecting the robe's vanishing act either, but as he sighed and she felt his weight press against her hand, she could tell it didn't perturb him one bit. In fact, he looked rather pleased, in a Cheshire cat-sort of a way.

Finally, he looked at her again, a silent question in his hopeful eyes as he reached out his hand ever so slowly towards her. The happiness in her expression offered in assent was mirrored in his as he finally touched her robe and delightedly watched it disappear.

Maybe it was having seen his robe vanish first, or the fact that he was naked before she was, but she didn't feel nervous at all standing in front of him now, completely exposed; in any case, the way he was looking at her now and speaking only semi-coherently was starting to make her feel all goddess-like.

Truth be told, when it was all said and done, this disappearing clothing was all rather impressively efficient, no fumbling around with buttons and hooks and clasps, just instant, easy access. She had to smile. "Handy….for the randy honeymooners who just can't wait."

"Sooooo, how do you wanna do this then?" he started, "Nice 'n slow…."

She shivered as she felt those long, cool fingers smooth over her collarbone before forging a trail between her conspicuously excited breasts and caught the almost-smug look on his face as she was rendered breathless for a few seconds,

"…or see where things take us?"

The punctuating eyebrow waggle was all but inevitable.

She returned his gaze unflinchingly. _I give as good as I get, Doctor. _She took a moment to rake her eyes over his naked form, gratified that it was now _him_ with the goosebumps, and traced one of the previously offending eyebrows with her finger, down the side of his face and his sinuous, sensitive neck, before brushing lighter than the touch of a feather over his nipple. Judging by his reaction, it was just as well it only been one – he may well have keeled over then and there if she'd tried both at once.

"Oh, I think this first time, I want to be long and memorable" she eventually said in a low, sultry voice, earning from him a smile and his concurrence as he moved in to shower every part of her face with warm, gentle kisses.

_I am so learning to love his oral fixation_ she thought to herself as she felt at last the delicious wetness of his attentive tongue caressing the most sensitive parts of her ears, the loving nip of his teeth in encore, and then, finally his lips against hers, where they belonged, speaking their own language of adoration and devotion. He readily took her unspoken invitation to taste her more deeply, and she lost herself in the feelings and sensations brought forth by his mouth and hands and closeness, barely even noticing him bringing her lower until they lay together on the soft bedding, the only sounds in her ears their mutual groans of pleasure and the pounding of her own heart.

He was close, so close, but not close enough, and as if in immediate response to her silent plea, she felt his leg move between hers and his hand slide down her body to cup one of her breasts. Hypersensitive to his touch – _she had never felt such physical yearning _– she almost couldn't bear the swipe of his thumb across her tingling skin, responding with an incoherent, almost guttural, groan.

"Eloquent" his voice was teasing, and she had to slap him, if only lightly.

"Let's see what you have to say for yourself, then" she retorted as she mirrored his action, but going one step further, giving him some of his own oral medicine as she swirled her tongue across his chest, punctuating with small, soft, bites. She reveled in the instant and obviously pleasurable reaction her actions produced.

Donna could've continued on like this forever, so wonderful was it to just to be able to feel his skin against hers, to give and receive the simple yet incredible gift of loving touch.

And just as he had promised, the Doctor's exploration of her was slow and reverent, almost meticulous in its thoroughness, leaving no part of her un-adored, unappreciated. Never had she felt so desired and it was intoxicating, powerful. _I could get used to this. _

_Be my guest, _he shot right back, _because I intend to give you as much as you can take, _causing a delicious ache to reverberate in her very core_. _

She could tell he was ready, as much by the surety in his eyes as by the more tangible physical evidence, and what it told her was that this coming together would be as much a joining of souls and minds as bodies.

But even knowing this couldn't have prepared her for the profundity of what was about to take place, for it was something she had never experienced before and the mere thought of it at once terrified and exhilarated her. And then it was no longer just a thought, it was happening, she was becoming his and he was becoming hers in every way possible.

There was a measured, searing pain, and then the last boundaries between them were gone. Now everything was shared, touched, understood. They moved together in perfect, instinctive rhythm, like they already knew all the steps in this most intimate of dances. He was certainly an adept partner, there was none of the awkwardness that had more often than not had been a part of her previous 'first' encounters. They truly were each other's destiny.

She felt his mind reach out to hers: _Donna, you are amazing…..this is beyond my wildest dreams. _

Struggling to hold back the tears at the unmasked awe she found in his heartfelt admission, her mind responded to him, telling him that being with him now had totally redefined her concept of ecstasy. _I admit it, Spaceman, you were right. I never, ever want you to stop._

_Good, because I never want to stop making love to you, my darling wife_ he whispered to her soul as he drove deeper, touching all the right places.

She squirmed in delicious discomfort as their pace quickened. The slow burn had flickered into a raging fire now.

_How do our bodies know each other so well already_? she all-but-panted.

Growing.

_They recognize what makes them complete, what makes them sing and come alive. What they have been missing and wanting their whole lives._

Building.

_I'm so glad I found you. Again._

So close.

_And I you._

Out of control.

Her eyes snapped open at that moment and saw him register in an instant her unvoiced plea.

There was a deft, barely-perceptible shift in his hips, followed by an exquisite pause as the coiled tension within her reached a crescendo.

And then stars exploded behind her eyes as she fell over the edge with a loud, unrestrained cry, him right behind her.

Together, for an endless moment, they careened through the cosmos, riding the wave, holding on tightly to each other as they spiraled through mutual bliss.

And if they never came back down to earth? Well, that would be just fine with her.

* * *

><p>Contented warmth inhabiting every part of her body, Donna lay spent and utterly sated basking in the feeling of the Doctor still inside her and wrapped around her. He kissed her, and she felt him smooth a lock of hair behind her ear as he asked her if she was alright.<p>

"Yeah, I'm alright". _Liar. Okay, okay…_"_More_ than alright," she replied, her eyes sparkling as she returned his kiss with a fervency that, in her teary, blissed-out state, surprised her. Just to reassure him, though, she trailed her hand down his arm making all the hairs stand on end, as if to suggest that a repeat performance in the very near future would be exceedingly welcome. She smirked as she felt him almost instantly take up her offer.

She was not to be disappointed that evening, or in the however many days and evenings that followed. There was no point in counting, anyway, the place they inhabited now was one that was timeless and eternal, where love transcended everything, even physical and emotional pain, to heal, restore, complete.

_Forever contained in the blink of an eye, each precious moment an eternity._

They would have to go back to 'everyday' life eventually, and there were still so many worlds outside for them to explore, but she knew that neither of them was in any hurry to do that.

For now was the time to explore the inner world, their shared inner world.

Who could put a time limit on that?


	17. Becoming one

_Disclaimer: Just because I don't own them, doesn't mean it didn't happen._

_Author's note: Thanks and hugs for the author/story alerts and favouriting. It is so, so encouraging and means the world as an author. I hope you enjoy reading the Doctor's perspective on this incredibly precious and special time between him and Donna._

* * *

><p><strong>Becoming one<strong>

The walk back to their room after the ceremony was a short one, not enough time really for the silence to matter, but even without peeking into her thoughts, he sensed her unease, that all was not calm and serene within that beautiful heart of hers.

As for himself, well, he had done a little bit of reading beforehand, he knew what came next, and from all accounts, it was something pretty special. It had to be, what with all the elaborate games and trouble that people went to so that they could get to the point where it could happen, and, well, he was imagining that it must feel pretty spectacular to warrant all that collective angst and effort. As it was, he was already experiencing all sorts of amazing physical responses just to the images in his own mind – goodness knows what would happen when those things actually happened for real.

But Donna didn't seem to share his own excited anticipation, her hands had become a little clammy and were getting fidgety, and she hadn't really looked him straight in the eye even once the whole way back.

Of course, if he just did a quick mind-share with her, he'd be able to pinpoint immediately the source of her discomfort, but somehow it just seemed wrong and disrespectful to do it without her permission (and he was pretty sure she'd reject a direct verbal enquiry – the whole thing was still quite new to her and he suspected it still perturbed her more than a little). So he held back, gave her some space, some privacy.

They reached the outside of their room, and he thought he would try to lighten her mood a little, so with a flourish, he suddenly swept her up in his arms and carried her inside, prompting an involuntary squeak - _but also, reassuringly, a little smile _- from her. Returning her to her feet, he hugged her close as they just stood together, unspeaking.

It would have all been so beautiful and peaceful had he not been aware of the anxiousness she was trying to hide but which kept making little random appearances in her eyes, in the involuntary micro-clench of her fingers around his waist, in the slightly more erratic breathing and beating of her heart against his own.

Gaze drawn down to hers, his eyes followed to what seemed to be prompting this sudden, somewhat alarming change in demeanour - the bedding lain out in front of them. He couldn't help his own hearts constricting ever so slightly at the thought that the prospect of being fully intimate with him was causing Donna anxiety, and he squeezed his eyes shut for a second, as if to banish the attack of self-doubt, the wound to his pride.

But when he ventured to gauge her expression again and saw the anguish still there, his own hurt was forgotten and his pain was instead seeing her in pain. The concern he was feeling must've been showing more than he'd thought, because when she returned his gaze, he saw her expression soften. _Thank God, she's prepared to open up to me. _He turned so that they now faced each other and took her hands in his, willing his courage to her through his touch.

"Donna, what's wrong?"

There was a pause, a long, deep breath, and finally she spoke.

"Look, it's not you, okay…well, actually it is, but not in a bad way" she stumbled out, "it's just…it's just that… I don't know _why_I'm so nervous, I mean it's not like this is my first time, or anything…" she trailed off.

_Oh Donna, darling, I understand…._he moved quickly to at once acknowledge and ease her fears. "But it is your first time with me. Your husband" He paused, in an almost successful attempt to eradicate the tiniest of quavers from his voice as his throat worked imperceptibly quickly, and looked right into her eyes. "Your _alien _husband."

He had obviously hit on the real problem; Donna looked like she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her right then and there.

And yet, he was still more than a little unnerved that the prospect of sex with him was bringing her to the point of tears. He knew that there wasn't any real reason for him to feel like that– he was, after all, an almighty Time Lord with the more-than-healthy ego to match.

But he was also a man. A man in love, He loved Donna, with all his hearts, and it gave her such incredible power over him. Because he cared, it really mattered to him, what she thought, and in particular what she thought about him.

Of course he wanted her to feel comfortable with him, but just as much (and the thought at once surprised and slightly dismayed him) he wanted her to desire him. No, wait, _wanted _was not the right word..._Oh God_... he swallowed, heavily, in realisation. I _need_ her to desire me, I need to _be desired_by her in every way.

And suddenly he didn't quite know what to do next, because he had never known this kind of need. What do I do if she _doesn't _need me like that? It was only then he realised exactly how much he was looking forward to making love for the first time to the woman who meant more to him than anyone ever had. And how her turning him down would crush him. And yet he couldn't just give up and leave things there. They couldn't stay like that. _I've go to do something, quickly, to deal with this situation. For both of us._

So, pushing his not-insignificant feelings of rejection aside, he took an infintessimally small step towards her and employed his calmest, most charming voice in an effort to break through the fear and the nervousness and the _unknown_ that was holding them back. "That's okay, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. I _am_, after all, an alien." He added some animated eyebrows for extra effect.

The humour worked; he was rewarded with a soft and grateful smile even through the tears that now ran down her face. _She's so beautiful. _The tightness in his heart that he hadn't realised was still there dissipated in an instant.

"I don't know, it has never bothered me before, right from the start, I accepted you for you, I knew who you were. It's what I fell in love with….You _know _I love you, right?" she whispered desperately.

He didn't miss a beat, pulling her closer with his body and his words. "Know it, feel it, see it. Never doubted it".

Yet he could see that a few strands of doubt still lingered in her as she started to lower her head again. _No. You are the most incredible woman I've ever known, and I'm not having you get down on yourself. Let me lift you up._

"Donna, it's okay. We've only just got married. We have the rest of our lives to be together, to get comfortable with this new part of _us_. There's no rush. Don't forget, a day in Agafilero is like a second anywhere else. We almost _literally_have as much time as we want, as we need to explore everything about what being married means. It's going to be brilliant."

He enveloped her in his arms, luxuriating in her feel and smell as she sighed softly in his embrace, heart-rate slowing, breathing evening out to match his, emotional balance returning. He didn't know how long they stayed like that, all he knew was that it was exactly as long as was needed, yet he didn't notice the passing of time, so peaceful was it there in her arms.

He felt her shift slightly and knew that the moment was over. Giving her a reassuring smile and a cheeky wink, he held out his hand to her. "Well, are you ready then, Mrs Noble? There's a garden I'd love to explore with my new wife and very, very best friend. Who are one and the same, by the way."

Donna's tinkling laughter at his somewhat droll humour was like music to his ears. _My bright, bold, Earthgirl is back. All's right with the universe._

It was all he could do to keep himself from skipping like a schoolboy as she took his hand and they set off on their first voyage of discovery as husband and wife.

* * *

><p>Now that they had been for a walk, relaxed, had dinner she seemed far more at ease.<p>

He watched her as she sat next to him on the bedding that had been laid out atop the straw matting for them while they had been away. There was a thoughtful expression on her face, and he wondered what was going through her mind, whether it was the same thing he was thinking about. _I'm more in love with you than ever, and yet I know this is only the beginning of our love. I'm so blessed even to know you, and yet somehow, amazingly, I'm here and I'm yours, I belong to the most extraordinarily wonderful person in all of creation. I never knew it was even possible to be this happy, but it's what you make me. So happy._

She was looking back at him now with that faint, knowing, teasing little smile of hers, that she always gave him when he was making the lovesick puppy face.

_Let's see how YOU handle a change in expression, then._

It wasn't hard to summon it, in fact he'd been battling to keep it suppressed the whole time they were at dinner. Now he dispensed with any restraint and gave free rein to the lustful thoughts his desire for her stirred. There was no way she would be able to mistake it for anything else.

He heard her breath catch, saw her scarlet blush as his mind reached out to allure her with erotic promises. As he watched her gulp in realisation, he could _feel _his eyes go dark and almost unreadable.

Then he heard her mind speak back to his those beautiful, beautiful words. _I'm ready._

* * *

><p>This time, when they stepped towards each other in the waning light of the day, she embraced him readily and calmly, her fingers seeking out the contours of his face before moving to his hair. His felt his scalp tingle at her gentle touch, and let out an involuntary sigh of quiet, deep pleasure.<p>

His eyes closed as she reached out to touch his robe, gasping briefly when fingers unexpectedly encountered bare skin. Then he surrendered himself to the feeling of his body under her hands and sighed, leaning into her touch, smiling lazily.

Wanting to try the same with her attire, he opened his eyes and locked gaze with hers, his unspoken question reflected, understood and answered in the hint of her smile, even as his hand slowly, tentatively began to reach out, feeling the crackle of electricity as his fingers finally made contact with her bare skin.

Despite the almost sacred silence of the moment, as his gaze passed admiringly over her he, so often a creature of words, couldn't help himself. "Oh, Donna," he shook his head, incredulous at the magnificence of her naked form.

By the way she was smiling, he could tell that his unabashed admiration of her body was making her happy and confident. Which meant that boldness and some slightly risqué banter was only just around the corner. Sure enough it was only a few beats before she spoke again, expressing approval of the unique and practical attributes of their wedding attire. "Handy…for the randy honeymooners who just can't wait" she quipped.

He eventually managed to respond: "Sooooo, how do you wanna do this then? Nice 'n slow…." He ran his fingers along her collarbone and then down towards the valley between her breasts, pausing as he heard Donna suck in a sharp breath, "…or see where things take us?"

He waggled his eyebrows for emphasis.

He watched her eyes appraise him languorously as she stretched out her own hand, tracing one finger over his eyebrow, then down the side of his face and neck before bringing it to rest ever-so-lightly over one very excitedly standing to attention nipple. He just managed to catch what looked like a triumphant smile before his eyes closed automatically, his lips parting and head lolling back at the sensation.

"Oh, I think this first time, I want to be long and memorable" she answered.

He smiled his approval. "Great minds think alike" he said, voice low and husky as he cupped her face with his hand and drew her to him, pressing soft kisses on her eyelids, forehead, brows, nose, cheeks, then across to her ears.

Recalling her response to him in their stolen moment in the TARDIS only hours before, he brought his tongue into play, swirling gently around the shell of her ear, and then under her lobe, biting down gently. As she moaned her pleasure, he moved his lips back to hers and drew in a heavy breath, struck once again by their delicious softness, how they responded to his, how readily they parted to let him explore and taste her. He moved one hand up to tangle in her hair and pull her closer, deepening the kiss. Sinking together to the soft bedding on the floor, kissing all the while, he realized that the moans of delight were not just coming from her.

He now lay facing her, and the tiny space between their bodies almost hummed with nervous anticipation, as if their very nerve endings were reaching out, desperate to connect with the other side. He slipped one leg between hers and ran his foot down the inside of her calf as one hand smoothed along her arm before finally smoothing it around one deliciously firm and ample breast and its already-peaked nipple.

"Unghh…" she sputtered.

"Eloquent" he teased, and then jumped, feeling a hand slap his arm.

"Let's see what you have to say for yourself, then" she shot back as she moved one hand across his chest, ghosting over a nipple before taking it in her mouth, running her tongue over it and then giving a playful nip. He couldn't help the shudder that ran through him then, his body crying out to meld itself with hers, to sate the need that had been building for longer than he probably cared to admit. Though he knew it would be met, his mind still hadn't quite registered the fact, caught up as it was in the sheer wonder and almost incredulous bliss of being able to be with her like this.

Despite his incredible urge to be one with her, he had held himself back until now, taking time to touch, and learn and be, making her feel comfortable and relaxing her body as much as possible to prepare it for what would come next. He knew that because she loved him that no matter what happened, this time would be precious and treasured for her, but she was also his Donna, and so he needed, wanted this time (and _every _time, really) to be sacred and special and everything she hoped it would be (and more) because she was deserving and worthy and _everything_to him. What she was to him he couldn't even find words to describe.

It was a bit of a startling realization for him, the ultimate explorer of the cosmos and all its vastness, that everything else paled in comparison to the wonder and joy and sheer delight of exploring _her_, and he knew even then, the very first time, that he would never, _ever_tire of this particular voyage of discovery.

For all the times that he had been in her arms and surrounded by her warmth, at the point when their bodies finally become one in the way their hearts and minds and souls already were, he realized that nothing, _nothing_ could have prepared him for the breathless exquisiteness of being enclosed by her warmth in _this,_ new way and now that he did know what it was like, he wondered how long it might be possible for a Time Lord to get by without food and water because he just wanted to be like this with her _all the time_.

The way they moved together was so instinctive, like they really were made for each other – despite all his knowledge and cynicism born of disappointment and loss and weariness, he was truly starting to believe this – and the deepest part of him knew that no matter what had taken place in her past, it had never been like this before for her, because, well, until now, what they had been missing was each other, no-one else fitting, complementing, completing them in quite the same way and, anyway, it felt the same for him.

And because he knew this, he also knew that she had never been so breathless, her face had never been so flushed, her groans had never been so primal, her thighs had never been so quivering, her fingernails had never gripped a back so hard – he could feel the blood trickling – her panting had never been so frantic, her back never arched so much, her voice had never screamed out a name with such passion as she did his right now, at this very moment, when they reached beyond the heights of ecstasy together to soar and fly before floating back down, wrapped in each other's arms and sweat and rapid, breathy sighs.

* * *

><p>It had been everything the Doctor had hope for, dreamed of, and more, and almost straight away, he was ready to do it all again. But no rush, really – didn't they have all the time in the universe for this, for each other? He closed his eyes for a moment and the ghost of a smile played across his lips as he contemplated just how incredible and amazing that prospect was. Right now, though, he was content just to bask in the afterglow of making love to his wife, to his beautiful, beautiful Earthgirl. He opened his eyes to see hers and the blue of them was so clear, so glistening – <em>with (joyful) tears<em>– that he felt like he could get lost in them forever, and he moved to kiss her lips, sated, swollen and enticing.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly, moving to tuck a slightly damp strand of ginger hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, I'm alright. _More_than alright" she breathed, kissing him right back, running her fingers through his hair, setting his nerve endings afire once more and eliciting a small moan of pleasure.

As her hand moved lower, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake, he realized he didn't even have to ask whether she was ready for them to continue. She just knew. She always had.

And as they made love again and again and again, he lost track of the hours – or was it days? – that followed, but didn't really care.

He suspected she didn't either.


End file.
